Weight: Stop Being An Ass To Make It Smaller.

I’m going to be a dick for a litte bit. Nothing too horribly offensive, just a little good-natured dose of reality about weight and weight loss, okay? After that I’m going back to my usual sweet inspiring purring, promise. Are you ready?

First of all, you didn’t gain weight because you ate a cheeseburger yesterday now, did you?

I know that somewhere in that pretty little head of yours you know this, but I am going to point it out anyway. Because pounds don’t appear overnight. Your weight gain is the result of a pattern. Whether it’s eating too much, or exercising too little, eating the wrong foods, emotional eating, your yogurt actually being pig lard: it’s the fact that you have a continual pattern that has brought youat your current weight.

So technically you’re aware of the fact it’s not last night’s chocolate cake camping on your hips. It’s months, years or even decades of a certain way of eating. 

But still. Somehow when you want to lose weight, a part of you is disappointed when you haven’t dropped at least a pound after one day of healthy eating, isn’t it? Even though rationally you know that it’s not real (water weight, a different amount of undigested food and literally crap still in your body), you’re still bummed when you’re the same weight as yesterday, and you’re still happy when you’re a pound lighter.

I’m telling you to stop it. It’s nonsense. It’s a waste of time. Sure it’s a nice little sight, but be rational about it, darlings. Two days of starving does not a healthy thin body make. Three days of exercising does not give you a butt like two scoops of icecream. Neither does anything in a few days or even a week. It’s not real, and I want you to focus on the real thing. I want you to take a different approach. Cue the sweet inspiring purring:

Be proud of yourself. Now. For taking steps today towards that healthier weight, even if it takes a while for it to manifest. It will last this way for you. So tell yourself daily how fucking kick ass you are for eating only one cookie with your tea, how cool you are that you just ran 5K and how good you are for having your veggies tonight. Teaching yourself these new things, working towards a weight and body you feel happy with. Do you have any idea how great it is you want to do that for yourself?

And as the real progress sets in over time: feeling fitter, losing pounds, a smaller waist, a tighter butt? You can cherish that even more. Because it’s real. And you really did it.

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  1. Love this! It’s about caring for your body with healthy yummy food, treating it well with weekly excercise, and if you do that daily then you can have your occasional glass (bottle) of wine and some chocolate to go with that <3

    (I love pig lard)

  2. This is so true! I think more people need to realize that you can’t just lose 10 pounds in one day. Losing weight takes a lot of patience and self-love.
    Also, hating your body is not going to make it thinner, it’s only going to make you unhappy (and probably make you gain more weight, because you’ll eat more because you’re so unhappy).

  3. Goed gezegd! Want zo is het inderdaad! Ik ben onlangs flink wat kilo afgevallen, waar ik nog steeds heel trots op ben.
    Enige nadeel: al je oude kleding is te groot, dus je hebt veel nieuws nodig! En echt, dat is vervelender dan je denkt! (kleeeeein voordeeltje hieraan: winkelen is leuk:) )

  4. I love how you take old and well-known facts/wisdoms that sadly haven’t registered with that many people yet, and dress them up in your own little mix of irony, cuteness and reality in a way that it will appeal to more people ( hopefully!) I know you don’t do any of this for the fame of fortune but…instead of focusing entirely on your new e-book, how about expanding the old one and turn it into a proper book? I know I would buy it! You have a great outlook on things and because you are so approachable i think it would be worth it to try and reach a bigger audience!
    Good luck with the new goals you set for yourself this month, I know you will kick ass! Knuf

  5. niets aan toe te voegen. helemaaaal niets
    alleen nog: accepteer jezelf zoals je nu bent. en ga dan gezond eten. en als je dan afvalt: prima.
    maar ga het niet als doel zien

  6. Amen and praise baby Jesus! (I am sorry, read your Secret Post first, and now I’m talking like a preacher in my head. It will pass, I hope.)
    But yes, you are so right. And it is good to be reminded of that sometimes, so thank you 🙂