A few weeks ago I was approached with an inquiry if I was interested in reviewing some make-up.
CBD make up, to be more exact.
I didn’t know what that was, so I checked the website: This was a website specifically for everything that has to do with weed, smart drugs and shrooms. And CBD stands for cannibidiol, which -next to THC- is another compound in marihuana.
If I wanted to test your cannabis-oil make-up.
Yeah, no. But send me your drugs and I’m game for a review.
Disclaimer I: I am an adult, my life is very stable, I am emotionally stable and I don’t get scared very easily. I have no medical or psychological issues. I think truffles are relatively innocent. I was safe, I educated myself on what I was doing and I had a sitter on speed dial who could be with me in a moment’s notice.
Disclaimer II: I am not anti drugs. I am of the Do Whatever You Want persuasion. I’d advise you to not do this if you’re unhappy, unhealthy or under 21 (your brain is still growing). Other than that, do whatever the fuck you want as long as you know yourself and your limits, and don’t hurt other people or yourself.
When Zamnesia replied they were digging the idea of me writing a trip report for them I first laughed for a million years. Then I went “am I really doing this?” And then I went like “yes, because I enjoy doing weird shit and then writing about weird shit.”
So three days later I was looking at these little packs of something that can only be described as little balls of dirt.
That I was going to ingest for a magic carpet ride of drug induced fun time.
(NOTE: NOT ALL OF IT. I REPEAT: NOT ALL OF IT.)
You have all these different varieties with different effects.
I told them I wanted something for amateurs, and they sent me the Pajaritos, which as you can see were relatively easy on the system. Not very intense, few hallucinations but strong in boosting creativity and philosophical tendencies— Boy did I find out about that last part.
I did this on a Friday night, by myself.
Do as I say, not as I do: It is not recommended to do it alone, you should have people with you. However, I like being alone and not having to think of other people around me while I’m being an idiot. So I made someone who knew what I was upto my emergency speed dial, and that was enough for me.
I read the instructions delivered with the truffles and I read a bunch of other stuff online. It was all pretty straight forward. You eat, you wait, you are high for a couple of hours. If you don’t like it, go do something else and change the scenery. If you eat sugar, you will feel a bit better.
Because I’m a dork, I set up my laptop with Doctor Who, got out a few cute glitter things to play with should I feel the desire to, as well as pens and a notebook for writing.
From the 15 gram that is in 1 package, I measured about 10 gram. Truffles are notoriously gross, so I was not looking forward to this part.
It’s like eating nutty rotting earth. Some people eat it with peanut butter or make tea of it. Neither of those options were appealing to me, so I just soldiered through.
7:15. And now we wait.
It takes a while before it starts to work, so I decided to play Don’t Starve to pass the time. I was playing for about 45 minutes when…
20:00 – I got sweaty palms, and felt flushed. I didn’t really feel anything else just yet.
20:30 – I couldn’t pin point exactly how I was feeling at this point, but I start to feel hot and then cold and then hot again. I also catch myself staring at a shadow on the wall for about 10 minutes before I snap out of it.
And the Doctor Who episode I put on?
I start feeling that shit in my soul, man.The laptop is pretty much pulling me in.
I also start feeling a little rush. Like I’m happy and seeing things a bit more intensely. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.
21:00 – I’ve taken off my glasses because I am no longer watching Doctor Who. I’m lying on the couch looking around and being mesmerised by the DUMBEST things around me. Like shadows and lamps and candles.
21:30 – I notice that the room looks ‘warmer’. It’s not really a color change, but it does look like it’s more in sepia tones. I’ve also put on Taylor Swift’s album and am completely pulled into the music.
22:00 – I have turned Doctor Who back on because I also really want to know what happens next all of a sudden. I feel really happy and weird.
22:15 – I can’t seem to fucking decide if I rather listen to music or watch Doctor Who. So I turn on both. That doesn’t work so I turn off the tv and listen to the music. For now, this is a good move.
22:45 – FUCK I’M HIGH. At this point I’m completely gone. In a good way. The fact that I even managed to make this picture during these hours is crazy.
I have put myself in a blanket nest on the couch and I am all warm and toasty and REALLY enjoying the warmth and comfort.
I closed my eyes because keeping them open is too much work at this point AND I am seeing all these pretty colours behind my eyelids I don’t want to miss. I’m really enjoying the music (Beyonce and Taylor Swift’s latest albums) and looking at the visuals in my mind.
23:00 – I’m going in some sort of really intense philosophical thought spiral about the things in life that matter and the things that don’t. People I care about, things I enjoy doing, what matters and what doesn’t. Like, I had a seriously profound thought process going.
And then, out of nowhere, I think NOTHING IS REAL EXCEPT YOGA AND BEYONCE so I guess that’s that.
23:30 – I come out of the most intense part of the trip and I start watching Doctor Who again. And then turn it off again and listen to more Taylor Swift.
And then turn the music off again and the episode back on. I’m fickle. I still feel good, but I can’t decide what I want to do and that is annoying me a little.
23:45 – At this point I’m also getting kind of over it. I want to go to bed because I’m tired, but I am still too ‘weird’ to go to bed. So I continue to watch Doctor Who.
00:45 – Fuck this, I’m going to bed.
I still feel a bit wobbly, but more normal. It takes me a little while to fall asleep: I toss and turn a lot more than I usually do.
DAY AFTER – I feel completely back to normal, just a little tired from sleeping less or differently than I usually do.
GENERAL OPINION Well, that was fun! And weird!
I think you have to be able to deal with feeling ‘different’ and seeing or thinking more intensely. I am, and I enjoyed this truffle trip. My “nothing is real except yoga and Beyonce” is already legendary among my close friends.
I don’t think this type of thing is something you want to do regularly, but I wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again in the future, maybe a different version and with an -emotionally stable- friend. Who knows. Maybe in six months or so.
And there you have it. Getting high and writing about it is officially the weirdest stunt I ever pulled for this website.
I hope you enjoyed reading the report and remember: Hugs, not drugs. Or some hugs, and some drugs. See disclaimer I and II. And be smart. And safe.