Being happy is both the easiest and the absolute fucking hardest thing to be in the world.
Some people are out here blissed out of their mind over the simplest things, while others cannot even be content when they have it all. Some of us go through periods where our happiness is just as farfetched a concept to us as world peace is and other times we’re happy without really knowing why.
Over the past five years of my life I have been miserable, flat and unfeeling, neutral, and very happy.
Because I know it fluctuates based on both events in my life as neurobiological stuff I can’t really do as much about as it happens, I made the conscious decision to not make happiness my main priority or main focus.
This started during a difficult time of my life, where I came to terms with the facts that I can’t force happiness.
I was tired of trying to get it out of me, like wringing a towel when it was just not there. Even when there was plenty of reason to be happy, when it wasn’t there it wasn’t there.
And I was tired of putting this failure to be happy front and centre in my life, so I let go of the notion happiness should be my main concern in this life. I let go of the idea that if I wasn’t happy I was failing in some way.
Later, when I did become happy again, it was more because I was doing things that were important to me or that I enjoyed spending time on. Happiness became the byproduct of my life when I lived it according to whatever I felt like doing I would do, according to my aspirations and preferences, and following my gut.
Happiness happens (or doesn’t) when I’m just out and about doing stuff.
I realised that for me it is easiest to be happy when my life is as the quote says: “Someone/something to love, something to do and something to hope for.”
I have a plethora of people and animals to love in my life. From Vin to my team of colleagues, from Beyonce the singer to Beyonce the cat.
I have things to do, like work and write and hang out with friends eating good food and drinking wine. When I’m working I have something to do, which is either being a positive influence on the school life and well being of students or being the hard-needed tough love lady (they somehow keep going back to), solving problems or supporting others.
And I hope for things. Health for loved ones, for their issues revolved, a literary career for myself, a happy life for those around me.
Coincidentally I found a post on Tumblr where Wentworth Miller answers this (somewhat oddly phrased) question on what helps him get through the day, and he also mentioned this 3-fold rule.
Of course, life is never exactly this simple.
But as Wentworth says: “It’s a place to hang your hat.”
It helps against overthinking, getting all existential angsty, and it can be the solid foundation from which you can get yourself back up if need be.
So. What do you love, do and hope for in this life?
