Day Four of Hell Week.
Even with the “Can I Go To Bed Yet?”-10 o’Clock Countdown, it was a nice day.
After I publish yesterday’s blog, I sit over my morning cereal like one of those “Neighbors Just Thought He was Quiet – Man Was Dead In Apartment For Three Years” people.
I watch the clock. I know I have to go shower, but I feel stiff and so, so tired. The 06:30 yoga class is my only hope at this point: I need something to do, something to give me energy and something to distract me.
Upstairs I stand motionless under the shower for about 20 minutes. The book recommends ending the shower with 20 seconds of cold water but there is not a single possible fucking way I’m going to do that to myself right now.
When I have gotten dressed I check my phone for the time I have to leave here to catch the subway.
For a second I think I’m hallucinating.
Does it say 07:35 AM?
And my ETA 08:14?
I blink, trying to make sense of it.
And that’s when I realise today that it’s Ascension Day. Public transit is on holiday schedule. I won’t be able to go to the 06:30 AM class, because public transit doesn’t start until 07:30.
No no no no no no.
Do you know the (white girl) jokes about how ‘we can’t’, ‘we just can’t’ and ‘we literally just can’t’?
That is the only thing I feel right now – besides ‘no’. I can’t. I literally can’t.
I don’t have anything to do that will keep me occupied until I can go to the 09:30 yoga class, because I stAYED UP ALL NIGHT TO DO THOSE THINGS.
My brain feels like it’s been tossed into a laundromat-deep frier.
But most importantly, that yoga class was the main thing that kept me going in the last hour and a half. I kept telling myself that in a few hours, I would lie down in the hot room, do a savasana, go through my poses and feel a lot better and afterwards I’d just go about my day.
And now I have to wait for 3,5 more hours before I can go.
Without even a moment of hesitation, doubt or inner turmoil, I take my clothes off and crawl under the covers.
Fuck all of this, I have suffered long enough.
I set my alarm for 8:15 and fall asleep.
Surprisingly I don’t feel like throwing my phone at the wall when I wake up. Nor do I feel guilty about sleeping. This is what happened, and that’s okay. Time for yoga. I grab a banana and my bag, and go out the door.
The yoga class is insanely hot and I’m tired as hell, but I just listen to Isa’s words and deal with it one posture at the time. I pull through and once again, yoga proves to be an energiser.
After a shower and a coconut water I go deliver the homemade lasagna to my student, I do some groceries and back home I get dolled up for my food festival date.
(I realise I’ve kind of let go of the Day Theme of Wednesday for now, and that on Friday I won’t be focusing much on my theme either: A side effect of having a week off and doing a lot of fun stuff during my Hel week, next to all the early waking and working. I decide I’m dedicating my Saturday wholeheartedly to the themes.)
(Before I leave for the festival, I decide to mak a healthy grapefruit-cucumber juice for hydration and what not. Because I believe that eating something healthy before eating burgers and drinking soda helps my body. Like a LOT.)
The weather is great, the food is amazing (I had a duck-croquette and a pulled pork sandwich).
But the food festival is really really crowded (and the bar is the most inefficient hell hole I have ever seen in my life). When we go home, the line to get in has quadrupled from when we arrived. Good luck out there.
It’s now five o’clock in the afternoon and I hit an energy slump. I lean against my date, laugh a little too hysterically at his jokes. Although I did get some sleep, I have not functioned on this little sleep in a long time. I sleep a lot more usually.
Back at my place I make a healthy salad with fresh mozzarella and basil.
And Hallelujah. I am in bed at 10 PM. I don’t even mind that I have to get up at 5 tomorrow morning, I’m just happy I get to get a ‘full night’s sleep’. Heaven.
One of my final thoughts before falling asleep is that Hell Week IS flying by: Only three days left.