Law of Attraction & The Lonely Hearts Club


I understand The Law of Attraction meets skepticism and scrutiny. The usual criticism is that getting things take more than just ‘manifesting’ and you can have a bit of bad luck. Well, yes. But if you think the Law of Attraction is just wanting it really badly and sitting on your ass you should read my other articles again. Or any other book on the subject for that matter.

But there is a different cry of complaint too, in a more specific area. Those of the people who really want love, who really want to be in a relationship, and somehow haven’t been so lucky just yet.

“I really want a boyfriend, but it’s not happening! What am I doing wrong? I’ve wanted a great partner for years, done it all and it never happened! I’m still lonely! How come the Law Of Attraction hasn’t worked for me in finding a partner yet?!

I don’t have the answer to that question. The reasons why the Law of Attraction hasn’t come through for you in this area are usually very specifically related to who you are and the way you think&feel. I could spend a hundred articles speculating about it, and still not make a point useful to you.

But there are a few basics we can cover together. In the end the blocks are for you to solve, but that doesn’t mean I can’t guide you a little. After all, I have a lot of love for you!

I totally understand why you want a relationship. It’s great fun and can be a great source of happiness. I mean, you’re no longer responsible for your own orgasm: what’s not to love about that?

It will be a great addition to your life, but it will not complete you*. It will be nice, but it won’t magically transform your life*. You will be completely the same, you’ll just be you with a boyfriend or girlfriend*.

You should not postpone your happiness for anything. The more you let your idea you should have a boyfriend get in the way of your happiness, the lousier you will feel and the longer it will take.

A big, big problem with manifesting a partner is that it comes from a place of loneliness. You feel alone, and that’s why you want a partner. But the feeling of loneliness gets in the way of the partner: it’s the main thing you’re feeling about it and probably overrules all your good work.

But you don’t have to be lonely without a partner. You can surround yourself with great, beautiful people who make you happy, without the whole intercourse-and-meeting-the-parents thing. Sure, it’s different, but the more you bask in the glory of interpersonal relationship in general, the better.

You can love and be happy in all your relationships, not just the one you think you’re supposed to have that’s just not there yet. 

The more you focus on how your life lacks a romantic partner, the more energy flows towards that idea -and the manifestation of that in real life: you not having a partner. Try to let go as much as you can. You don’t lack anything. You have love and relationships and happiness. The romantic love will come.

At the same time: create space in your life for that partner.It’s a little play-pretend, but it’s fun to do –and it works. This can be as simple as writing little love notes you intend to give to your boy- or girlfriend one day. Or passing the park and thinking: ‘I’d like to have a picnic here with my lover during the summer’. You can even clear one night a week out of your schedule because you intend to make this Date Night when you’re in a relationship, just to get used to it. Until you’re in a relationship, you can treat yourself and have a You-Date Night until it comes a We-Date Night.

This is not creating an imaginary boyfriend. This is prepping your world for him so that he fits in it when he shows up.

I don’t know about you, but whenever somebody talks to me with the sole purpose of getting something from me, I try to get away as soon as possible. That interaction is tainted by what one person wants. The more they want it, the more uncomfortable it is for the other person.

It can be the same when you really want love: you’re just looking for your romantic partner whenever you’re engaging in social situations. And instead of really seeing who you’re dealing with, you project your image of what you hope they are onto them. This usually ends with disappointment.

To prevent this from happening, just focus on getting to know people without judgement or personal gain. Just enjoy your time with people, communicate honestly and openly and learn from whatever you find. This will definitely aid your way towards that relationship you want.

Of course it comes down to focusing on love and allowing. Easier said than done, but not impossible. Thing is, you’re on your own personal journey to him or her. And they’re on their way to you too. They can come in any package. And I am absolutely certain you will appreciate the hell out of each other when the time comes. Never give up.

*For those interested, this also applies to being thin.

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  1. Thank you SO much for writing this article! I will definitely let you know when my Mr. Right arrives… Big kiss

  2. love love dit. waaaaarom heb ik niet zoiets gelezen toen ik nog single was.

    want ik wou zo graag een vriendje. zooo graag. en pas toen ik besefte dat ik me eerst alleen moest voelen, dat ik eerst alleen van mezelf moest houden, en dat ik eerst het alleen moet kunnen redden, toen kwam ik LOML tegen. Toeval? Dont think so

  3. Amazingly true, yet it is really hard to consider (let alone accept) that you yourself might be the one who is keeping you from achieving your goals… Realising this is the key, partly because you still have to change your Lindsey. Also not that easy, usually. And, nicely done!