*Alternate title was ‘Fuck One Size Fits All’ but I decided two curse word ridden titles in a row was a little much, even for me. Hence, the PG-version.
We read books about people who have done amazing things, who have turned their life around and we just go “YES. That is EXACTLY how I am going to do it too.” Or we see blogs of people who got it going on, who have the things we want or who do the things we like to do and we go “RIGHT. I’ll just do what she does and surely it will work out for me too.”
Well, that’s not really the way to do it. Actually, it’s not the way to do it at all. By all means, use the lives of others in print or in imagery to inspire you, but it’s more effective, beneficial and fun (!) to create your own.
Before issues of identity theft and copyright infringement start arising, let’s cut to the chase.
Because sorry babycakes, but if you really want to succeed to the extent you see or read other people have done before, you need to do something a lot of people forget to do: Get back to you. Who you are. Your identity, your strong points, weak points, style, preferences, character and habits. Every fucking bit of your cheesy snowflake-uniqueness.
You can’t blindly apply what anyone else is doing to your life. It might work for them, it might work for a lot of people, but honey: Nothing, except breathing, works for everyone (and I’m sure that if you tried you could also bring breathing up for discussion). Not everyone will fare best by going on the Eat, Pray, Love tour, channeling the 4-hour work week into their teaching gig, making pictures exactly like the favorite fashion blogger of the month or by eating the exact diet described in a diet book.
Nothing is one size fits all, except cute beanies and shitty leggings. You can quote me on that.
If you really want something to work: If you really want to get fit, get healthy, get succesful, get awesome, you will need to custom design your life. Tailored to your every specific preference and need. For example, by starting to take into account you’re either a morning or night person. The healthy foods you really love and the ones you hate. How running makes you want to kill yourself but how dancing makes you both happy and healthy. That you read slow but you learn fast when you listen.
Take who you are and how you operate most effectively, in whatever area, as your key starting points.
The best example I know of this is Sabine from Some-Like-It-Raw. I know her and when I read her recap of 2012, I just went like “Yes. That is your life, completely custom designed. That’s how it should be done. Good for you, VG (Vegan Goddess). Good for you.” Another good example is BodieBoost Babe Charlotte, who tried every diet available and when that didn’t work, just figured out her own that did work. My friend Fleur didn’t want a dime-a-dozen article-website, she wanted high quality reading about interesting original topics and created Na De Lunch. My best friend Lin who took up running because she found it was the most beneficial to her life, and who knows exactly how to motivate herself because she figured it out about herself as she went along.
What these ladies all have in common is authenticity, and both the brains and the balls to go “I’m going to do it in a way that works for me.” Wheter it’s life, diet, creating or exercise, that’s what they ALL did. And I want you to do it too. Figure out your very own, specially customized, brilliantly individually engineered plan. For life, exercise, love, health, spirituality, EVERYTHING.
For fun, just for a second, take a breath. Pretend you know nothing about how other people do it, what other think is the best way to do it and how you have tried to do it. Let all of that go, and in that space you just go “I want to get fit/ How could I do that in a way that makes sense to me?” or “I want to relax more. What feels like the right way for me to do that?”
It’s basically not so much “How have other people done it” anymore, but instead you levitate towards “How can I make it happen for myself? How would I create this for me? What feels like the right way for me to achieve this goal or become this way?”
Instead of looking at others for The Answers, we need to start going for our own thing. Develop our own styles, discover our own inner wisdom. Build our own empires, make our own plans. Custom design your life, based on who you are what you love.
Couldn’t agree more! We tend to watch others live their life…
Thanks again for the great blogpost, love it!
Helloho, I was just reading about the 4 hour work week, you mind-reading SHH!
I freaking love this post! (And not just beacuse of the very sweet mention)
I usually don’t reply on blogs, but this one I can’t ignore.
I figured this out the last year, but couldn’t put it in words.
Thank you so much for this blog!
So true! (as always)
Helemaal waar. Wel heel eng, or is that just me? Ik vind dit heel lastig, ik weet niet eens meer wie ik ben. Maar ik wil niet zo eindigen als mijn oma. Niemand kende haar, je kon als je heel goed keek wel bedenken dat ze een mooi mens was. Maar je zag er nooit bewijs van en ondertussen deed ze de meest verschrikkelijke dingen. Alsof ze zichzelf wilde bewijzen: zie je wel, ik ben nou eenmaal slecht. Ik doe dat ook, al wil ik het niet (meer). Dat maakt dit verhaal heel moeilijk om toe te passen.
HELL YEAH! Ja, FUCKING JA! Ik snap precies wat je bedoelt/d. Ik had dat toen ik the secret las, mijn eerste zelfhulpboeken. Ik wou het perfect doen, volgens de regeltjes van het boek. Ik denk dat het pas later goed werkte omdat ik eerst mezelf moest terugvinden. Als ik nu Galadarling herlees (of jouw e-book) , gebruik ik de lessen ter inspiratie of hulpmiddel bij mijn eigen leven.