What To Do When You Feel Like Shit (Situation Edition)

(Pics by my brilliant partner in creative self help crime: Andrew Chin

Rough spot?

I got you, boo – NOW with specific instructions for specific situations.

Let’s see, why can we feel like shit…

YOU’RE HEARTBROKEN

Oh, no. Sweetheart. This part of love and life sucks giant balls. I’m sorry.

But hey. I suffered from some serious heartache in ’14, and I came back swinging. I have had many a friend crying on my couch, and we all turned out okay. Whether you left or were left, whether it was a short intense love affair or a long loving serious commitment, whether it was a boy, girl or a gender fluid non-binary non-cis beauty of a non-specific: This sucks, BUT you will be okay again.

So. Cry hysterically (not on the phone with your ex, don’t be THAT bitch), call a friend, hug your mom or said friend. Read this and try to keep it together as you survive. It’s best not to have your life fall apart as you mend your broken heart.

YOU’RE IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR (BEST) FRIEND 

If this fight has made you realise said friend is a toxic asshat and not compatible with you and your life, here’s what you do: You stop being friends with them.

If you’re mentally protesting this statement as you read this, deciding that for YOU it’s impossible to do so (because history, shared social circles, “they need me”), let me stop you right here: You’re wrong. I’m right.

You can stop being friends with anyone at any time. Loyalty to things and people that hurt you gets you nowhere.

If this fight has made you realise that YOU are the asshat (and perhaps unintentionally a tad on the toxic side), here’s what you do: You apologise, you explain, and you buy them a drink to say ‘sorry and I love you’ with the most beautiful gift of all: Presence. And alcohol.

Are you both being asshats? Okay then. Cool off for a couple of days, voice your feelings and your opinion on their asshattery, apologise for your own asshattery and promise to try to be less of an asshate and more of an awesome friend.

WORK IS AWFUL AND YOU’RE SUPER STRESSED

First off, work is work and even if you’re Puppy Fur Fluffer at the Pet Store, there is a non-fun part to everything. Usually that’s where the pay-part comes from.

Darling, grid your teeth and grind through the hard parts, find some positive in the fact you are becoming smarter, stronger and more resilient and most importantly, reminder yourself that work is work.

There is SO much more. Stop checking your email everywhere. Take a day off. Focus on a hobby. Talk to your boyfriend or your family about THEM, not your deadlines. Do what you need to do to feel how much more there is to life.

YOU’VE FUCKED UP (EPICALLY) 

Repeat after me: “Everybody fucks up.”

No matter what mistakes you may have made, I guarantee it’s not the end of the world. Hell, it’s not even the end of YOUR world, even though at first you may feel like that.

Deal with the fuck up. If you can fix it? You fix it. You acknowledge the mistake, try to set it straight and prevent it in the future.

If what’s done is done? Deal with it mentally and emotionally. Don’t continue to beat yourself over the head with it. Let it make you a better person.

YOU’RE GETTING BAD GRADES/ YOU’RE ‘FAILING’ AT GETTING YOUR DEGREE 

Okay, first of all, you’re not failing. You’re experiencing…academic difficulties.

There could be several reasons for this.

One, you might not be working hard enough. Sorry, but I know students: This is a very real possibility. So study more. Invest time. Just because other people can get by with occasionally inhaling the smell of a study book does not mean YOU can. Do the work. You get back what you put in.

Two, you’re taking the wrong approach. So try new approaches! There are so many study techniques, time management options and productivity helpers out there!

Three (tied to taking the wrong approach) you might be one of those idiots who is afraid to seem dumb and does not ask for help.

As you might have guessed from how my personality RADIATES through this blog, I have NO IDEA what that’s like. ANYWAY.

Get other people involved. Whether it’s the study advisor, your parents, an extra tutor, a mentor, a study group, a study coach: Let other people help you. The might be the last (uncomfortable) push you need to make it.

One more time for the back row: LET. OTHER. PEOPLE. HELP. YOU.

And finally, this may not be the thing for you. And that might devastating at first. But there are so many opportunities out there, that I’m sure you can find something that IS the thing for you. So do something else.

YOU FEEL AWFUL ABOUT YOURSELF

Honey, we are a big pile of both our best parts and our worst parts. You’re not Hitler in terms of evil. You’re not Garfield in terms of lazy. You’re not offspring of Jabba the Hut and a Gremlin in terms of appearance.

Put it into perspective, acknowledge the good you’ve done and the good inside you.

If it’s about your looks, focus on your beauty and all the fun, positive things you can do for your body. Oh and read this (or look at my jiggly parts, whatever makes you happy).

YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR NO REASON

Oh, fuck — this is the worst one.

Look, how I see it there’s only three things you can really do here.

Option number one is going to sleep. If I feel like shit for no reason, I can sometimes sleep it off. Being tired can make everything seem shitty.

Option number two is trying to figure out if there really isn’t an underlying reason why you feel like shit. Through meditation, talking to someone, writing, journaling, whatever. It’s confrontational, but if there IS an underlying reason, you can start dealing with it.

Option number three, especially when you have been feeling like shit for no reason for a while now, is talking to your GP and getting a referral to a psychologist. They are able to help you out. Even if you’re not depressed, it can be very beneficial to go, be informed and be given tools to help you deal with the negative emotions and to access positive ones.

And that’s that.

I’ll take suggestions below if you need me.

Now it’s back to writing while Downtown Abbey is on in the background. (At episode 2, #teammrscrawley)

Leave a Reply

4 comments

  1. Hi Lianne,
    Presently I feel a little depressed and worn out. Reading your blog helps a little although I’m not yet dancing through the living room. Why don’t my efforts to make life more easy don’t pay off? What am i doing wrong or is this karma? But on the other hand, I do know that the only way to change things when I’m in charge of my own life. And just writing this helps as well! How easy, no big deal….

    1. Hey Marja,

      Meh, so sorry to hear that – I don’t think your efforts don’t pay off, I think they haven’t paid off yet! You’re not doing anything wrong, it’s not karma, sometimes it takes some time before it takes, ya know? You’ve already done great things for yourself, focus on that and try not to wear yourself out either: take a breather, okay?

      Keep writing (me or for yourself) and you’ll see you’ll have more energy soon – it’s all dynamic x

      1. Hi Lianne,
        Thanx for replying on me. In theory I know that what you’re writing is a fact. If life would always be great and wonderful, it wouldn’t be interesting anymore. I’ll keep you updated! X