Self Help Hipster Now Does Reiki.

(These were the flowers that were in the room during my Reiki 1 Course. Gorgeous, aren’t they?)

If you had told me five years ago, I wouldn’t have believed that at 24 I would be juicing my vegetables, writing about a Universal Delivery System (and people would like it), or doing hulahooping and yoga as exercise.

Yet, here I am. Ordering wheatgrass shots, solving relationship problems by taking a good look at myself first and saying shit like “My yoga teacher broke my hoop” and “I don’t think that’s something my Higher Self would want me to do”. This is your cue to point and laugh, dear readers.

But there is more. Last weekend I added something interesting to my Resume of Reasonably Out There Stuff: A Reiki 1 Course.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Reiki: It’s energetic healing through hands. The idea is that you transfer energy through your hands to the person you are treating. This does not result in some sort of creepy Church Cult miracle cure, but it does set in motion the process of (energetic) self healing which can ultimately do you a world of good in physical, mental but also spiritual aspects.

I had no experience with Reiki until last year; it’s something that I wouldn’t have had believed was a real thing if I hadn’t felt it myself. But after undergoing a few different energetic healing sessions, I’ve seen it. I know that energy works in our bodies and that it can be ‘helped’ or ‘treated’.

After my first Reiki treatment I cried for three days straight. I know what you’re thinking. “WHERE CAN I SIGN UP, SO FUN!!”  But it was really good and apparently necessary. I had a lot crying still in me. After the Cry Fest I could deal a lot better with some seriously sad shit in my life and was also able to be less accidentally horrible to the people I love.

The second time I never went into hysterics (yay), from that moment on I just underwent a gradual but strong positive shift in how I view and understand romantic relationships and how they should be treated.

The third one was in July. Not only did it gave me the energy to deal with the huge responsibility of caring for the 23 beautiful women in my Self Help Summer School, it also landed me a new friend and the reference to go do my own Reiki 1 at the right place. The fourth was two days before my actual Reiki Course and it pretty much prepped me: made me very focused and relaxed to undergo the entire experience.

Basically what happens during a Reiki 1 Course is that the Reiki Master opens you up for all this energy you can now pass onto others and yourself through your hands. You also learn how to give both others and yourself Reiki treatment.

I went in without any expectations. I expected to learn about Reiki, have some fun and yes, of course I expected that it would make me feel a little bit different here and there. But I have no idea what they actually did, because I look exactly the same and a lot of me still feels like the same. But at the same time it totally doesn’t. If that makes sense.

What I do know is that over the weekend I became more relaxed than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I still need to get used to having tingly hands all the time, because yes I actually do feel it. That doesn’t mean that other people necessarily will when I put my hands on them, but I do. My eyes feel different and a few different people told me I have a different look in my eyes than I used to. I feel like I am more observant, more open. I feel more like myself. But let’s enter the existential or spiritual crisis here: I don’t really know what to do with all of this yet.

It’s no coincidence I got sick the day after. I completely collapsed under everything. I had the flu but last time I checked the symptom list, the flu didn’t make you feel like your soul was exhausted – sorry for sounding like a goddamn hippie. Nor did it come with a set of supercreepy nightmares. I’ve been trying to relax and sleep a lot the past few days, I feel a lot better but I still feel weird. Most of all, I really feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.

Which is weird because I’m a complete wise ass who had a lot figured out. But I’m not so sure anymore. I feel like I have to redefine a lot of things for myself and I don’t really know where to begin. But hey, it’s true what they say: You gotta start somewhere. So that’s what I’m doing: I’m starting here by writing about it.

And what I’m trying to say most of all is that I’m so incredibly happy and thankful I could do this course. The amazing effects Reiki can have, and that I can use it to help myself and others. To me that’s just beautiful and I’m excited that I’m only just at the start of it. I trust the existential/spiritual crisis will work itself out. I’m a big fan of learning as I go along.