zomg so deep (pic by Aline Bouma)
Like what I said before in my how to destroy a negative thought article, I believe our mind should be a good place.
We should have the right mindset for our lives, one that helps you feel good and helps you be productive, kind, helpful and awesome all-around.
But our mindsets are not always the rosy, unicorn-riddled environment we’d like them to be. And it can be so hard to change this.
The rigidity of our thinking can really put the set in mindset.
Our mindsets can be fixed, based on the cumulative experiences, previous thoughts, relationships, what people around us do and say, what we’ve seen in the media and what has been said to us by important figures in our lives. The beliefs, opinions, attitudes and frequently thought thoughts (FTTs) that comprise our mindset are hard-wired in us.
But your fixed mindset is not the only option for you, you know. There are so many more ways to look at a situation, so many more ways to experience the world, so many different ways to think about the things that happen to and around you.
If you know your mindset gets in your way? If you believe you are a failure, you believe you’re never good enough, you believe the Apocalypse of Moldy M&M Rain is upon us (and that’s why you refuse to leave the house anymore) and you want to start challenging that mindset and make room for a new one?
Let’s look at how we can do a mindset challenge.
Badly Drawn Crab is judging you.
Wikipedia & Urban Dictionary, trustworthy sources for life knowledge (but NOT for academic writing) tell me that the crab mentality is a (social) psychology phenomenon based on what happens with crabs in a bucket.
The crabs could easily escape from said bucket (as they’re climbing all on and over each other, one of them is bound to reach the edge) but never do because they keep pulling each other down.
“If I can’t have it, neither can you.”
In Human Land, this comes down to “if I can’t have it, neither can you without me being a TOTAL DICK about it so maybe you will enjoy it less.”
The more successful you are, the more well known you are, the more other people will be dicks to and/or about you.
Mean comments, uncalled-for criticism, people talking shit behind your back, and maybe in the worst cases even some sabotaging and backstabbing — I can imagine that this could be the case in the corporate world, online it’s mostly just some name calling and 12-year olds being little shits on Instagram.
Crab mentality: if they can’t have it, neither can someone else. If someone else has it, they can’t have it without the rest pulling them down in any way they can.
When I told Andrew this in our Podcast, he dead panned: “Sounds like the Dutch.”
I wish I could disagree with him and come to our defense, saying that we are a better people.
But we are not. It’s true. Some of us worse than others, but we have the tendency to either internally or externally pull each other down.
Because God forbid someone leaves our bucket of mediocrity.
Well, to that I say. Let’s ALL leave the bucket of mediocrity, by tackling that mindset first.
Here’s how to get rid of the crab mentality.
Oh my GOD can I please have Bob follow me around?
And whenever something dumb happens he’ll just turn to me with this face and I will feel such a profound sense of understanding and comradery that nothing will get to me ever?
One order of Bob, to go please.
A million years ago, I read an ebook that I think anyone who loves journaling and planning would enjoy.
Journaling Your Goals – Catherine Joy Perkins.
But of course, I got distracted and never wrote about it.
Luckily I remember things from time to time, and then I act on it.
(Now if ONLY I could remember where I put my favorite tanktop, that’d be great. Come on, brain. Counting on you.)
March is GONE.
Swear to God, I only turned away from my computer for a SECOND and here we ARE.
I’ll tell you what happened.
After I extensively go through my Whatsapp, Instagram and Twitter to figure out what the hell I’ve been upto.
(picture by Andrew)
A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with a reader I know.
I don’t know all of you, but I know some of you. Via comments, emails, the occasional coaching session. Sure, you may have more information about me, but don’t think for a second that I do not know you.
We know each other.
And I know what you are like. What your potential pit falls are. Because they’re mine too.
(OMG guys look how young and adorable and not yet completely broken down by life I am in this picture. Sigh. Memories. Made by Mariet)
I sometimes reread my own articles and ebooks.* I don’t know, sometimes I just need to remind myself of what I know, you know?
I recently grabbed one of the last useful things I’ve written, the Be Your Own Hero e-book, and some of it actually made sense.
Here are a few of favorite parts from the e-book/e-course I wrote two years ago.
*I mean, wow. I am not saying there’s a DSM-V diagnosis in me, but if there was it would rhyme with Arsisist.