My favorite vegan salads. Requested a bunch, so I turned it into a thing. With terrible names, idiotic recipes and zero measurements.
(Because why remember the amounts of anything life is meaningless and we’re ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAY can you tell I watched a Lars von Trier movie)
Anyway. Take a look.
THE TEMPEH TANTRUM.
– You marinade some tempeh in whatever you have lying around a delicate mixture of ketchup, soy sauce, pepper, salt, maple syrup and sesame oil (loosely based on this)
– Go get a meat sub. It takes forever for the tempeh to really soak up the marinade.
(Unless you quickly steam the marinade first according to my Dial-A-Vegan Friend Merel.)
– Rip up some field lettuce like you’re an angry lawyer. Scream “OBJECTION” if it gets you in the mood.
– Cut up an orange, yellow or red bell pepper, some tomatoes, a parsnip and a couple of carrots. Cucumber optional.
– Cook some buckwheat while you’re cutting the veggies.
– Find a ripe avocado that isn’t already black and moldy because you forgot about it, cut it in pieces and generously sprinkle the avocado bits with salt and pepper.
-Grill the tempeh.
– Add sesame seeds.
– Make a dressing. And by ‘make a dressing’ I mean you drizzle the thing with olive oil and hope for the best.
ORIENTAL TEMPEH TANTRUM.
– See above, but add bean sprouts.
BALSAMIC STRAWBERRY BONANZA
– Spinach. So. Much. Spinach.
– Tomatoes. So. Many. Tomatoes.
– Roast some pine nuts. Stay on that shit. Pine nuts burn before you can even say ‘balsamic’.
– Cut up some strawberries and douse with balsamic syrup.
– Actually make a dressing this time. Olive oil, balsamic vinegar/syrup, pepper, salt, honey and maybe some Italian herbs.
(The non-vegan option with goat cheese is good.)
(And the non-vegetarian option with bacon bits is really good.)
SOME SMOKED TOFU-FOOLERY
(By far the salad I ate the most during my vegan challenge.)
– You grill a red onion and some smoked tofu.
– You cut up field lettuce or rocket. See first recipe with anger-laywer tearing for inspiration on how to do that.
– Chop carrots, a bell pepper, some tomatoes, half a cucumber.
– Cut an avocado into slices.
– Throw everything together. Add hemp seeds, pepper and salt, and a little bit of olive oil.
And that’s that. Four of my favorite vegan salads. I have three more but I’m posting those later in the summer when you maybe need some new inspiration.
What is your favorite vegan salad? Tell me in the comments!
Or not. Leave me out here on my own with my weird salads. Whatever.
sounds delicious! especially the first one looks soo good.
xo, cheyenne
I laughed so hard at this (slightly embarrassing in a very full train)! Even though I kinda lost my will to eat salad (killed by to much salad I suppose)
I’ve totally found some new inspiration now! Especially love the little non-vegan cheats, so I can get the other halve to maybe eat it too 🙂
I love how even your recipe blog can make me laugh! you have a real talent, never forget it 🙂
Mijn lievelings is spinazie met zongedroogde tomaten, avocado en geroosterde pecannoten. Supersimpel, maar zoooooo lekker. Dat is voor mij echt de perfecte combo van knapperig, zoutig, creamy en gewoon healthy goodness.
Haha, hoe leuk zou het zijn moest jij een kookboek uitbrengen!
I’d buy that shit.
i laughed out loud. several times. mostly at “And by ‘make a dressing’ I mean you drizzle the thing with olive oil and hope for the best.” because ahahaha that’s totally my salad dressing strategy. anyway, thanks for the inspiration, all of these look great and i want them, so i’ll be making them. and as i side note, sometimes i hate myself a little bit for not allowing myself to eat bacon bits because they’re the best thing and i want them on that strawberry unit like there’s no tomorrow. oh well.
Great recipes, they sound delicious and not too complicated.
btw, I LOVE your blog! you’re so funny and you keep things light, plus you write about interesting stuff 🙂