How To Make A Big Decision

how to make a big decision

Sometimes you guys ask me questions. And I think about them. And then I want to answer. But I forget, I have no time, or I have a brain wave and write something that I find hilarious but that isn’t even remotely helpful.

A question that people ask me a lot is how to make a big decision. Like, a big, potentially life changing decision.

I’ve been thinking about this question a lot. I don’t think I’m the best person to answer it. Then again, I’m not the worst either.

So here’s how to make a big decision, after the jump.

HOW TO MAKE A BIG DECISION

1 FROM WHO YOU ARE I believe we should make our own decisions as much as possible. There’s two key things that can help us make our own decisions. The first one is to really focus on who you are as a person.

Your core values and your personality. What is important to you? What kind of person are you?

Base decisions, big and small, on those ideas and the way you are.

If you are a daredevil who wants to see the world, maybe getting a house in the suburbs and get to popping out babies is NOT right for you.

If you are a subdued and introvert person who likes quiet, maybe you should not go live in a dorm with 30 other people and start working with 12 loud workaholics with ADHD .

If you believe in saving the planet and taking care of the environment, maybe don’t go work at a giant corporation that gives no fuck about it.

See what I mean? Reason from who you are as a person, not from your circumstances. (For as much as this is possible.)

2 FROM YOUR GUT. It is so easy to ignore your intuition, because you can’t always explain how or why something makes sense to you.

I could give you a few examples of my intuition that make the hairs on your arms stand up, but this article is not about me plus I don’t want a crappy Lifetime movie made about my life story because the actress playing me will be prettier than me and I don’t need that shit.

But in all likelihood you have a certain (gut) feeling about the things you do, or your options.

The job that seems perfect for you, but a sense of dread attacks you whenever you walk into the building. The guy who seems great on paper, and that all your friends tell you to date, yet you remain not completely convinced. The apartment that seems impossible for you to get, yet you feel such a connection to it.

I know it’s not always possible to act on it, or even feel it, but your inner GPS is rarely wrong. Even if you can’t completely explain it right now, you probably end up being able to later.

One of the best ways to connect to your intuition is to sit down, eliminate all distractions and sit still for a couple of minutes. See what thoughts and feelings come to you. A lot of interesting and insightful things may come to you. Trust yourself and trust your gut.

3 TALK TO PEOPLE What can help you make up your mind too is a good talk with the people in your life that know you really well and can remain unbiased/non-judgmental.

I have people I can talk to who are able to completely set aside their own opinions and personality and see things from my perspective and what is best for me. I also have some people I can talk to who are able to listen and still share their own ideas and judgements in a way that is actually helpful. Both have merit.

Talk to your tribe. See what they say, then think about that for yourself.

4 DON’T TALK TO PEOPLE What can also really help is the exact opposite: Stop talking about it with other people. Sometimes other people color our mind and our behavior too much. By taking a break from discussing it, you come back to yourself and what you want.

Spend some time alone, without people around you, and see how you feel about things. What kind of thoughts come up.

5 THINK IT OUT AND THINK IT THROUGH Before you think okay so Lianne thinks you should just go do shit based on your personality and your feelings: Nope. Balance, babies.

Once you establish where you’re inclined to go based on that, you stil need to think about the options thoroughly. Set out your options and go through the different scenarios that could happen. What would be the best for you? And how would you deal if things go wrong, in whatever scenario possible?

Write it down if necessary.


So yeah. To sum up: Use your core values and personality as your compass, as well as your intuition, talk to people but take some alone time too, and finally make sure to give it proper and thorough thought.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make some small decisions.

My mind says salad but my gut says PASTA for dinner tonight. It’s a struggle.

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3 comments

  1. Great post. Decision making is a blend of the rational and the emotional. More trouble has been caused in my life if I used too much of one without considering the other. And as for your dinner choice, I think a nice salad WITH pasta is always a lovely choice. 🙂

  2. Oef, bij mij draait alles even om grote beslissingen :’). Heb al besloten dat ik definitief Nederland wil gaan verlaten, maar dat zal nog wel aan paar jaar duren :’)