Hi! Allow me to get right to the chase: You’re in control of your own thoughts!
If you don’t feel like you are, you can be. You should get on that shit. It’s a process, something you become increasingly good at with training. That it might take some effort at first, but…That shouldn’t stop you.
Because the premise you can’t govern what goes on in your own damn head is weird and wrong on so many levels. For the most important argument, you need to see that it’s your own fucking head we’re talking about. If you can’t do it, nobody can. Then it’s basically just going to be a big wheel of crazy attached to your neck for life. It will always spin out of control unless you take control. Plus, if you have chosen to think your thoughts cannot be ruled, you have chosen a defeated point of view that allows you to never even try. There is nothing to gain there.
I have always believed I’m in charge of what goes on in my head. That’s why I started exercising this authority* over time by deciding on the things I wanted to think about. And the more I trained, the easier this became (Pro tip: This is the case for anything in life).
The things we spend most of our time thinking about will shape our lives in a few different ways.
1. We identify with our thoughts. We identify with the behavior that come from our thoughts.
If I think a lot about writing and consequently write, it shapes my identity into that of a writer. If I think a lot about unhealthy food, I will consequently eat more of it and ultimately think of myself as an overeater.
The things we think and do, we eventually internalize. We make it a part of our personality. So if you think about it (get it? because we’re talking about thoughts?) we should really pay attention to our thoughts as they end up in the big pile of stuff that makes us who we are. That’s why it pays to think positively about yourself and to focus on the good things that you do: It shapes who you are.
2. We will see what we think about reflected in our lives.
Whether it’s because we prime ourselves and it’s just an attentional thing or because the Universe slides it towards us in a ‘here you go it matches our vibration’ type of way, what we think about comes into focus and into play. If I focus on the people I find annoying, their role in my life will grow and I will find more things to get annoyed over. If I focus on the people that I love, love will become more important in my life and I will find more things to love.
3. The way you think will make you feel a certain way.
You can pick up your emotions by training yourself to think good and positive. Try it now: Think of three things that happened this week that were awesome. You’re bound to feel that, maybe even accidentally smile a bit. You basically feel yourself cheering up.
Yu can make yourself miserable. If I’m going to focus on the shitty weather, or my hip that hurts, or my procrastination, I feel my emotions going down in response to my thoughts. I start feeling lousier. This does not help me.
Your emotions will play a crucial part in your day-to-day life and how things will turn out, and you can help them by thinking a certain way.
(cool art, to be found at this webshop!)
Now for anyone who hasn’t had that much practice or is just getting started (or wants a refresher course!) I jotted down a few basic things to get in that pretty head of yours:
- Start like you’re stupid. At first, use short, general sentences and catch phrases to have bouncing in your head for a while. They work great. I know it sounds silly but they are easy to remember, easy to repeat and can completely change the general tone in your head! Some easy ones are “I expect miracles”, “I’m positive and happy”, “I make my life ridiculously amazing” and “I’m awesome.”
- An obstacle people encounter is their rationale going “…but I can’t control everything with my thoughts! How do I do this!” and the panic/helplessness that can ensue from that. Relax, and adopt the following “I may not be able to control everything, but I can still work with my thoughts” or “I have no control over other people/that situation, but I am in control of my own thoughts.” I don’t focus on the things I can’t control, I work around them with the things that I do control.
- Think about what you want. Make it a habit to focus on the goals, hopes, dreams, wishes and what not. Not even going my usual Universe preachy road, by doing this you keep your eyes and thoughts on the correct things.
- When you find yourself worrying or obsessing about something negative, snap yourself out of it. Direct your own attention to something positive. This is weird at first, but it will become a second nature too. Now when I find myself coming back to the same issue I just go “Have I gotten the important lesson out of this? Have I given it enough of my emotional and cognitive attention?” If the answer is yes, beating myself up over something is not going to add anything new to the situation. So I take a breath, go do something else and focus on something pleasant.
The most important thing here though is that you learn that you can guide your mind and thoughts. You are not powerless. You are in control over your head, and the more you practice the easier this becomes. You can totally sculpt and shape what’s happening in your own head. It’s basically Thought Play Doh. Go clay.
*I love me some authoritay.