One step in Manifesting that throws everyone for a loop is ‘Pretending You Have Already Received It’. I mean, they’re basically telling you that you are going to have to pretend you already have the degree, the abs, the boyfriend, the peace of mind and maybe the shoes. But how do you do that without feeling like a big fat phony?
It can be super effective; if you can do it right, you start living at the exact vibration that’s necessary for the things you want to appear. If you can live like it’s already there, you invite it into your life at lightning’s speed. But, as said before it should be fun and -also important, not psychotic. I want you to start helping your reality by pretending, not losing yourself in a fantasy.
People often trip up at the whole pretending part because pretending entails: Acting as if you have something that you actually do not. In the word itself you can already see that this can possibly cause some problems. Just the act of pretending can give you the idea of ‘Oh my God, I don’t have this (yet), how sad and sucky for me!’
For instance, people who want to be wealthy and who buy something because they are pretending to be rich, can get this nagging thought and feeling about their current lesser-than-ideal financial state. That is a stressed, negative feeling that can be detrimental to the entire vibration. Similarly, if you want to be thinner, you start pretending you are thin by wearing clothing that are (too) tight, you can look in the mirror and start feeling uncomfortable about your outfit. Again, ruining what you want because the contrast is still too much.
I am here to tell you that there is a good way to pretend, and you can actually let it help you. It’s less pretend, more of a Playful Inviting thing. You don’t have to pretend you have a six figure income and a supercool job right now, if that is just too far-fetched and makes you feel even more sad and uncomfortable with the fact you’re not there yet.
First of all, only do it if it feels right and fun. The moment it only confronts you with what you don’t have and it’s making you feel bad, it’s not the right strategy for you. That’s counter effective. Only do it if you can overcome the initial weirdness and you can enjoy it as it is: a fun exercise to help attract good things.
What you can do is invite the things into your life that you want, in small ways. Small ways would include in this case, having a pretend conference call every once in a while, placing a pretend ASOS order a size smaller, writing a love letter to your Prince Charming who’s estimated time of arrival hasn’t been decided upon. Anything that’s cute, focuses on what you want, and that’s fun.
Because remember, if manifesting isn’t fun – you’re doing it wrong. If it’s not something that you enjoy doing and if it doesnt make you feel good, you’re not really doing it; you’re just making yourself feel worse, torturing yourself with the reality that’s not how you want it to be and the fantasy you don’t believe you can attain. That’s not what manifesting is. There should always be an element of fun.
So if “pretending” makes you feel phony and fake, it’s not the right thing for you. At least not yet, not right now. What I suggest you do is skip the step. Just ask what you want, feel really really good for a second imagine what it would be like and then completely let it go. Move on to the aspects of your reality that you do enjoy.
If you are able to invite that element of play and pretend into your life, I have a few suggestions.
- A great way is the Making Room Technique. If you’re currently single and you want a partner, pretend you have a date coming up somewhere in the future. No specifics but just keep feeling that magic anticipation of the first date that’s semi-around the corner. You can also make a little space in your closet for a possible significant other or room mate. You can make room for a new friend by clearing out a night in your schedule. You can make room for a new and permanently fitter you by throwing away the clothes you had that are (almost) too big for you.
- A similar thing you can do is Get Excited Over Your Anticipated Future. Just dream a little. What would you wear to your first press event? What would you like to say to a new boyfriend or friend? How would you like to spend your first days in a new country or at a new job?
- If you want a certain something, dress for it. Dress for tat job (or that life, or that boyfriend, or that scene. Whatever). Hot journalist, strong CEO, ambitious scientist. Lots of dates, doing lots of freelance, etc. If you feel an outfit works for it, it will work for it. Fashion, beauty and appearance is a great way to pretend, even if it’s just for yourself.
- Pretend-play is cool too. You can pretend you have a certain job for 30 minutes or so, right? Doesn’t have to be hard*. Write to your new lover or friends. Look for apartments in the town you want to live in some day and browse the IKEA website.
- Place an order with your Universal Delivery Guy. Just order the things you want to buy and pretend they’re on their way. Always effective.
And remember, feel good about it — you should always feel good about it! One of my favorite examples of pretending is Jim Carrey, who before Ace Ventura was walking around with a pretend cheque entitling him to a couple of million dollars for Acting Performances. Look at the guy now.
The same goes for quite a few other people who weren’t quite there yet when they started making vision boards, when they started making Goal- or Wishlists, when they started to give their reality a hand becoming what they wanted it to be, with a little Play and Pretend.
*For me that’s really easy. I just sit behind my laptop with coffee or tea and type all the words.