The “not my circus, not my monkeys” mindset

I’m a big fan of the ‘not my circus, not my monkeys’ mi-yeah, you know what?


I can’t write an intro for this while this photo of myself is staring me in the face.

I really look like a monkey in a wig who stole glasses off a sad librarian. Who I am now tormenting as she cries in front of my cage how she just wanted to have a nice day at the zoo even though her date stood her up and why do these things keep happening to her.

You just gotta read the blog post.

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Quick Decision Making: “Does it feel heavy or light?”

deborah en ik

A little less than a year ago, I met Deborah de Poorter for a chat and a burger.

Deborah is a writer who wrote “Het valt wel, maar niet mee“, (Rough but poetic translation: It’s not so bad, except when it is”) her own story about developing and dealing with her conversion disorder. She is now working on #Writeyourownstory, a writing course which also features workshops.

She is a beautiful sweet thing of a woman who I enjoyed spending an afternoon with.

And she gave me a quick decision making trick that I am in debt to her for to this day.

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My Bullet Journal in 2016

I promised I would give you an update on using a Bullet Journal and therefore I will!

Long overdue, but hey. It’s like a period: I don’t see the problem as long as you get it in the end.

My handwriting isn’t that great and there’s a lot prettier Bullet Journals out there, but this is how I use it. My Bullet Journal of the past few months below!

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Don’t Be Your Own Worst Enemy

I read a comment about Natalie Tran, one of the first and my old favorite YouTubers, the first to hit millions in view- and subscriber counts. It struck a cord with me. In this topic, “that being said, I think she is her own worst enemy, as her irregular upload schedule, vague promises of new content, and subsequent not delivering, have definitely affected viewer/subscriber numbers.”

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How To Do A Mindset Challenge

zomg so deep (pic by Aline Bouma

Like what I said before in my how to destroy a negative thought article, I believe our mind should be a good place.

We should have the right mindset for our lives, one that helps you feel good and helps you be productive, kind, helpful and awesome all-around.

But our mindsets are not always the rosy, unicorn-riddled environment we’d like them to be. And it can be so hard to change this.

The rigidity of our thinking can really put the set in mindset.

Our mindsets can be fixed, based on the cumulative experiences, previous thoughts, relationships, what people around us do and say, what we’ve seen in the media and what has been said to us by important figures in our lives. The beliefs, opinions, attitudes and frequently thought thoughts (FTTs) that comprise our mindset are hard-wired in us.

But your fixed mindset is not the only option for you, you know. There are so many more ways to look at a situation, so many more ways to experience the world, so many different ways to think about the things that happen to and around you.

If you know your mindset gets in your way? If you believe you are a failure, you believe you’re never good enough, you believe the Apocalypse of Moldy M&M Rain is upon us (and that’s why you refuse to leave the house anymore) and you want to start challenging that mindset and make room for a new one?

Let’s look at how we can do a mindset challenge.

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How to get rid of the Crab Mentality

Badly Drawn Crab is judging you.

Wikipedia & Urban Dictionary, trustworthy sources for life knowledge (but NOT for academic writing) tell me that the crab mentality is a (social) psychology phenomenon based on what happens with crabs in a bucket.

The crabs could easily escape from said bucket (as they’re climbing all on and over each other, one of them is bound to reach the edge) but never do because they keep pulling each other down.

“If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

In Human Land, this comes down to “if I can’t have it, neither can you without me being a TOTAL DICK about it so maybe you will enjoy it less.”

The more successful you are, the more well known you are, the more other people will be dicks to and/or about you.

Mean comments, uncalled-for criticism, people talking shit behind your back, and maybe in the worst cases even some sabotaging and backstabbing — I can imagine that this could be the case  in the corporate world, online it’s mostly just some name calling and 12-year olds being little shits on Instagram.

Crab mentality: if they can’t have it, neither can someone else. If someone else has it, they can’t have it without the rest pulling them down in any way they can.

When I told Andrew this in our Podcast, he dead panned: “Sounds like the Dutch.”

I wish I could disagree with him and come to our defense, saying that we are a better people.

But we are not. It’s true. Some of us worse than others, but we have the tendency to either internally or externally pull each other down.

Because God forbid someone leaves our bucket of mediocrity.

Well, to that I say. Let’s ALL leave the bucket of mediocrity, by tackling that mindset first.

Here’s how to get rid of the crab mentality.

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You Don’t Have To Do Anything

(picture by Andrew)

A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with a reader I know.

I don’t know all of you, but I know some of you. Via comments, emails, the occasional coaching session. Sure, you may have more information about me, but don’t think for a second that I do not know you.

We know each other.

And I know what you are like. What your potential pit falls are. Because they’re mine too.

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My favourite Steve Pavlina quotes, part II

When I first started out on this website, I kind of wanted to be like Steve Pavlina.

But a girl.

And not as controversial.

And not (as) into BD/SM and dominant-submissive relationships.

Point is, Steve, one of the biggest self developmental bloggers out there (even though his website looks like shit), has said many an amazing thing. I love his book and still recommend it to anyone who will listen, and I have read so much of his articles on his blog, and wrote an earlier instalment of my favorite quotes.

Here’s round two, based on an ebook I found on the iBooks store. In this ebook, Meghashyan and Krupa Chirravoori collected their favorite quotes (also linking to the original article) and I really enjoyed looking through it all.

I took THEIR favorite quotes and collected MY favorite Steve Pavlina quotes. Quote-ception.

Head’s up: LONG article.

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