Don’t Be Your Own Worst Enemy

I read a comment about Natalie Tran, one of the first and my old favorite YouTubers, the first to hit millions in view- and subscriber counts. It struck a cord with me. In this topic, “that being said, I think she is her own worst enemy, as her irregular upload schedule, vague promises of new content, and subsequent not delivering, have definitely affected viewer/subscriber numbers.”

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How To Do A Mindset Challenge

zomg so deep (pic by Aline Bouma

Like what I said before in my how to destroy a negative thought article, I believe our mind should be a good place.

We should have the right mindset for our lives, one that helps you feel good and helps you be productive, kind, helpful and awesome all-around.

But our mindsets are not always the rosy, unicorn-riddled environment we’d like them to be. And it can be so hard to change this.

The rigidity of our thinking can really put the set in mindset.

Our mindsets can be fixed, based on the cumulative experiences, previous thoughts, relationships, what people around us do and say, what we’ve seen in the media and what has been said to us by important figures in our lives. The beliefs, opinions, attitudes and frequently thought thoughts (FTTs) that comprise our mindset are hard-wired in us.

But your fixed mindset is not the only option for you, you know. There are so many more ways to look at a situation, so many more ways to experience the world, so many different ways to think about the things that happen to and around you.

If you know your mindset gets in your way? If you believe you are a failure, you believe you’re never good enough, you believe the Apocalypse of Moldy M&M Rain is upon us (and that’s why you refuse to leave the house anymore) and you want to start challenging that mindset and make room for a new one?

Let’s look at how we can do a mindset challenge.

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How to get rid of the Crab Mentality

Badly Drawn Crab is judging you.

Wikipedia & Urban Dictionary, trustworthy sources for life knowledge (but NOT for academic writing) tell me that the crab mentality is a (social) psychology phenomenon based on what happens with crabs in a bucket.

The crabs could easily escape from said bucket (as they’re climbing all on and over each other, one of them is bound to reach the edge) but never do because they keep pulling each other down.

“If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

In Human Land, this comes down to “if I can’t have it, neither can you without me being a TOTAL DICK about it so maybe you will enjoy it less.”

The more successful you are, the more well known you are, the more other people will be dicks to and/or about you.

Mean comments, uncalled-for criticism, people talking shit behind your back, and maybe in the worst cases even some sabotaging and backstabbing — I can imagine that this could be the case  in the corporate world, online it’s mostly just some name calling and 12-year olds being little shits on Instagram.

Crab mentality: if they can’t have it, neither can someone else. If someone else has it, they can’t have it without the rest pulling them down in any way they can.

When I told Andrew this in our Podcast, he dead panned: “Sounds like the Dutch.”

I wish I could disagree with him and come to our defense, saying that we are a better people.

But we are not. It’s true. Some of us worse than others, but we have the tendency to either internally or externally pull each other down.

Because God forbid someone leaves our bucket of mediocrity.

Well, to that I say. Let’s ALL leave the bucket of mediocrity, by tackling that mindset first.

Here’s how to get rid of the crab mentality.

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You Don’t Have To Do Anything

(picture by Andrew)

A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation with a reader I know.

I don’t know all of you, but I know some of you. Via comments, emails, the occasional coaching session. Sure, you may have more information about me, but don’t think for a second that I do not know you.

We know each other.

And I know what you are like. What your potential pit falls are. Because they’re mine too.

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My favourite Steve Pavlina quotes, part II

When I first started out on this website, I kind of wanted to be like Steve Pavlina.

But a girl.

And not as controversial.

And not (as) into BD/SM and dominant-submissive relationships.

Point is, Steve, one of the biggest self developmental bloggers out there (even though his website looks like shit), has said many an amazing thing. I love his book and still recommend it to anyone who will listen, and I have read so much of his articles on his blog, and wrote an earlier instalment of my favorite quotes.

Here’s round two, based on an ebook I found on the iBooks store. In this ebook, Meghashyan and Krupa Chirravoori collected their favorite quotes (also linking to the original article) and I really enjoyed looking through it all.

I took THEIR favorite quotes and collected MY favorite Steve Pavlina quotes. Quote-ception.

Head’s up: LONG article.

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How to Set Up For The Best Weekend

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Greetings, earthlings.

It’s 22:00 AM and I have only just finished up sending out emails, trying to make sense of files and praying nothing (new) goes wrong between now and tomorrow morning when I check my email again. It’s one of those weeks, you know?

And when I have one of those weeks, I need my weekend to recharge. Inspired on the Buzzfeed article about how to set up for your best week I shared via Merel a while back, I wanted to write how to set up for the best weekend. Or at least how I set up for mine, especially in times of high pressure at work.

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How To Make The Most Of 2016

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(Pic by Aline

How to make the most of 2016? Now? Really?

Yes. Yesterday night I was walking home, listening to terrible music (thanks Spotify) and contemplating what my month was going to look like (short summary: long days, lots of easter eggs) and then I realised we are already in March.

March.

Freaking March.

We’re already at 1/6th of the year. And at the end of March, we’re at 1/4th of the year. And then April, when I’ve had my birthday, we’re at 1/3rd o- you get the gist.

I had a bit of a time crisis and thought a lot in fractions.

Time flies by so fast, and it is our most valuable currency. And this year, is our current treasure chest, full of opportunities and time to use.

I thought about how I will want to make sure that I use 2016 and use it well. I wrote down how to make the most of 2016. Feel free to take the advice, or add your own in the comments below.

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How to Destroy a Negative Thought

We think a truly astounding number of thoughts a day, and most of them are repeat performances. We think the same thought over and over, sometimes phrased a little differently OR IN CAPS LOCK IN TIMES OF PANIC.

But the same thought nonetheless.

Our brain is trained this way. Certain situations, people or actions trigger those thoughts we see in our mind time and time again.

Like, when you’re late, you think “FUCK” and when you make a mistake, you think “I am such an idiot. ” And when you see Beyonce, you think “YES Queen I will do thy bidding always, WE FLAWLESS.”

…Or maybe that’s just me.

All of this is fine, really. We think what we think, and thoughts move fast on our brain highway.

However, what’s not cool is when a thought holds you hostage, making you feel bad or holding you back. That’s when you need to look at this a little closer, and get to work. Here’s how you can destroy a negative thought (pattern) if you want.

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