My (Almost) Daily Self Help.

 General Self Help  7 Responses »
Feb 062013
 

(Smiling. Best and easiest mood enhancing trick for both you and the people around you!)

Like I said before, if you don’t start using what you read about, reading self help books is more self distraction than actual self helping. It’s good to read: It’s fun, what’s on the pages that resonates with you is bound to spill over in your behavior eventually, but it’s actively applying what you read that actually creates benefits.

Self helping sounds a little dorky, but it’s basically a bunch of daily behaviors that make me happy, healthy or productive. Which brings in other good results. Here’s what I do in terms of self help (almost) every day.

1. Gratitude Lists. I write down what I am grateful for in my Paperblank or in my iPhone Notes (those I post on Instagram). This is good on normal days, extra special on great days an d on bad days it is a welcome perspective shifter. You can click here for a really cool article that tells you all the benefits AND backs it up with some research.

2. Green juice & Healthy Food. Drinking at least half a liter of vegetable juice gives me extra energy and mental clarity, that helps my work and writing flow. My favorite (really green) combination is spinach, kale, cucumber, celery, green apple and lime with a shot of spirulina. Healthy and delicious. Also, I don’t eat healthy to lose weight. I eat healthy (green smoothies, salads, fruit) because it ensures me high quality energy. If I really keep a clean act*, I experience an euphoria and lucidity that I didn’t know possible until two years ago and that is well worth the hassle of juicing, blending and preparing!

3. Jessica Mullen’s Worksheets. I know, I know, mentioning them for the umpteenth time, but I just love them. The power of these worksheets: They are fun to do, and because you actively work it, it really works. I switch them up, but I make one every couple of days usually. My favorites as of late are the 60 Things I Love About and the Gathering Momentum one.

4. Exercise. Doing yoga relaxes me, makes me more mindful, and happier. I’m trying not to be a crazy obsessive person about it at the moment, but my minimum exercising for optimal functioning throughout the entire week is 4 times a week. The energy and endorphins work for me. Don’t know what your most optimal schedule might be, but finding it can really enhance your continuous quality of life (and it’s probably not zero, so start experimenting).

5. Reiki. Because I had some wondeful experiences with reiki/energetic healing myself, I got my Reiki 1 certificate in September. Can’t tell you how or why, but it’s special. It works for me on multiple levels and I couldn’t imagine my life without it anymore. I give myself a reiki treatment almost every night. Makes me sleep like a baby at night and keeps me balanced during the day.

6. Love and respect. I treat everyone as nicely as I can…and as they let me. I try to show love and kindness to people, from my best friend to the janitor at work to my family members to the woman who makes my coffee. I am only a hardass if I have to be. I work on not harboring negative emotions by using the F word as said by Gabrielle Bernstein: Not ‘Fuck’ (well that too) but ‘Forgive’. I try to forgive. It’s good for the soul.

7. Spend time with the right people. I am as cutthroat as I can be about the people I surround myself with. I look for people who give me energy and who make me buzz. I like people who inspire me and who makes me excited and happy about life. That doesn’t mean I only hang out with super successful crazy party people: It just means there has to be some sort of connection between me and the other person. And I spend as little time as possible with people who get on my nerves or who get me down. I’m not unpleasant or obvious about that, but that discrete form of selection makes my days better.

8. To Do Lists. As anyone who knows me in real life can testify, I am not an organized person. I am chaotic, forgetful and easily distracted. To Do Lists fix 75% of the issues that come from that. It clears my head, sorts things out and gets shit done. I become a 100% times more focused and productive if I have a list to work from: Items to cross off one by one. I explain how I work with to-do lists in this article.

9. Music. I listen to summer songs, raging guitars and catchy pop music when I’m riding my bike to work or to the yoga studio to inspire me. I listen to techno or classical music when I have to get my productivity on. Chris Liebing’s podcasts and Classic.FM! Click here for a really cool YouTube video explaining the power of music: I love this Science shit.

And that’s the daily components of how all my dorky self helping has translated into my personal life. Got any tricks up your sleeve you want to share with me? Kisses!

*I don’t do this nearly enough because I love my coffee and Tony Chocolony, but I should start again. It’s worth it. 

Major Monday Make-Up Post!

 5 Ways To, General Self Help, Health, Law of Attraction  20 Responses »
Jan 282013
 

Well guys…I am finally out of my funk! I’d go into my whole inner emotional turmoil, but actually I really don’t want to so I’m skipping that therapy-moment for now.

Luckily, after giving my Law of Attraction workshop Saturday, I felt like my normal self again. Finally. I am still absolutely glowing from the company and positivity vibe those workshops give me, and it made my entire being do a happy 180. Thanks, ladies. I am back in touch with all my inner weirdness, excitement and that positivity you have all come to know and love (or get annoyed over, who knows what you do behind your computer).

Good news: I am writing again! About damn time too, because writer’s block was making my head explode. Now I have about 6 outlines for cool new articles. The bad news is that I write in my notebook and I have had zero time this weekend to turn my Paperblank scribbles into the long-winded elaborate articles you have all come to know and read maybe halfway through before you go back to cats and fandoms on the Internet.

But I felt weird leaving my blog and readers alone for over a week and I wanted to make my ‘prolonged’ absence up to you. A few days is fine, because I am totally that rebel writer who doesn’t get tied down easily distracted and preoccupied, but I don’t want to be more unreliable than that. Plus, I miss you guys in terms of comments and happy people reading my stuff.

So I decided to post some tips I shared before in my Self Help School Projects. Basically five tips in the three areas I talk about the most that you might like to use someitme (and let me know if you do!) Have a kick ass Monday!

General Self Help

  • Wake up 15 minutes earlier tomorrow. Dedicate these 15 minutes to something ‘You’. Be it meditating, an extra beauty routine like straightening your hair or smokey eyes, a quick at-home workout or just a more relaxed breakfast with your favorite book. Do something early in the day that says “I’m Committed To Taking Care Of Myself”.
  • Write down the answer to the question of “What am I bored of?!” (Idea stolen from Alex Franzen). Whether it’s the same pasta you end up having three nights a week, that one friend that only talks about old friends, Facebook, your weak arms, etc: figure out what bores you or makes you roll your eyes. Now that you know, you can move from boring to brilliant. Simply by going in the opposite direction! More variety in dinner, spending time with friends who talk about worldly events, logging off Facebook and doing those damn push-ups.
  • Think of someone you admire and do the one thing that you think rocks. For instance, Angelina Jolie takes a much-needed break in her busy schedule specifically for Brad Pitt (wouldn’t we all like to be able to do that) and you can make some Boyfriend Time in your schedule as well. Other examples would be eating more vegan (like Merel from the Groene Meisjes), being more forgiving (Dalai Llama) or not afraid to be yourself (Self help God Steve Pavlina).
  • Make the BLUH-List. The BLUH list is the list of things you have been putting off forever. Items on my list include figuring out how to work with SEO, contacting BOL.COM about their plug-in, changing my Rabobank personal information to the correct address and figuring out my perfect health care plan. Make your list. Once you have the list, do one thing immediately to make the list shorter. Call to cancel your useless gym membership (and take up another sport) or Elle subscription, go to the drycleaners and finally return your friend’s book to her.
  • Write down what personality traits you attribute to yourself that you’re bothered by. Pick one or two and try to think of yourself completely different in that aspect. You’re no longer Control Freak Carla, you’re Laidback Lucy. You’re not Anxious Annie, you’re Peaceful Patty. Get my drift? Erase from your memory the personality trait you don’t appreciate as much as the rest, and when something happens that would normally activate that part of you, try to react from the complete opposite. See how it feels. Usually something in the middle ends up feeling most comfortable, but it’s a good exercise.

Health

  • Do your own research about food. Find out what you want to know (or really don’t want to know) about what you eat. Find books, scientific articles about certain dietary lifestyles. Look up the dity dozen and the clean fifteen, explore foods with high protein content, the superfood with the most antioxidants or vitamins. Knowledge is power and it will guide your choices. If things are contradictory, find which side has most evidence, research which of the evidence is most convincing or: Simply trust your gut.
  • If you have the time and resources, eat organic/raw/vegan/vegaterian for one day. Just for one day, to see how you like it! Document everything, like you’re doing an experiment. How much you spend, how much effort you have to make to prepare it and how it makes you feel. It’s a very good way to assess: It takes away the possibly unrealistic hurdles about rep time or costs, and adds the experience of possible advantages or disadvantages.
  • Having breakfast-dessert. It’s a sweet treat/dessert type food you have after breakfast instead of after dinner. Makes absolute sense as you still have the entire day to digest it while it may sit in your stomach uncomfortable if you have that tiramisu too late. Worth a shot, I have actually tried this before: It is fun and feels a tiny bit naughty, which makes it even better!
  • This is an interesting twist on exercising, also from Alex Franzen: Modeling a work-out to one of your idols or heroes! Think a Wonderwoman work-out, running like you’re a professional athlete (without killing yourself mind you) and G.I. Jane push-ups. I am personally going to channel an inner superyogi that I have always admired. I’m also not above channeling my inner Black Widow, Catwoman or that one where Jessica Alba is a cowgirl stripper.
  • This is a little different than the others, but I seriously believe a little hiatus from fashion magazines and staring at pretty models on the Victoria Secret website can sometimes be a very healthy much-needed break for your self-esteem and realistic body appreciation and awareness. If you haven’t done this before, start now.

Law of Attraction

  • Make a Universal wish list for someone you love. Your partner, your BFF, an (estranged) family member you wish the best, a parent or sibling. Imagine all they ever wanted realized in their lives. I believe it is good to practice positive intentions for other people as well.
  • If you have something in mind that you really want to manifest, grab a notepad and pen, close your eyes and ask yourself: What can I do to make this (come into my) reality? Write down each and every thought that comes up. This is a way to crank up your Inspired Action. The Universe digs that.
  • Wake up and decide you’re going to feel like the luckiest person alive today. The luckier you feel, the luckier you’ll be.
  • You need to feel quite deely and passionate about this one but it can work miracles if you do: Choose a situation or area in your life you are deeply discontented with and send a big Universal Request for something to change or be resolved. Do it in the same way you normally ask for other things. Depending how willing you are to let go of the situation (sometimes we hang onto horrible things because they are familiar and comfortable), things usually change rather quickly.
  • Think to yourself “With what great positive action can I positively impact myself and everything around me, right now?” This can range from cleaning your apartment to donating to charity to striking up small talk with a lonely-looking elderly woman to taking your friend to yoga. Anything goes, as long as you do something good.

Self Helping During The Holidays.

 General Self Help  6 Responses »
Dec 242012
 

There is so much fun stuff going on in the last week of December, don’t you think?

Christmas for one thing. With all the unnecessary mocking and hating I do on wintertimes, I have always loved Christmas. ’Voluntarily’ going to church with my parents and pointing out the people feeling asleep during the sermon to my brother. Wearing something sparkly or festive because otherwise my grandmother is going to give me a hard time about not looking ‘ladylike’. Eating more food than I previously thought fit in me and almost passing out on the couch before 8 because of the severe food coma. Spending quality time with my family members, watching my cousins pound my iPad in an attempt to get 3 stars in Angry Birds. Love it.

And then there is New Year’s Eve! My last two New Years have been quite magical. There was a lot of techno and Manfriend midnight kissing involved. I’m guessing we’re doing that again this year; it’s like a modern tradition with the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.

So during this final week of 2012, with all this social stuff, food extravaganza and preparation stress, it’s really easy to let slide -or you know, completely abandon- your own needs and things you like to do.

For me, that is a really bad idea any time of the year, but especially now. I get…unpleasant when I don’t feel good, which doesn’t help the Chrismassy and festive mood. So, I do my best to make myself feel good, by taking care of myself and taking some prevention measures.

  • Exercise. Not only does it make me feel great and relaxed, it revs up my metabolism and makes me want to eat cleaner (meaning I’ll skip the second third round of dessert). Although December 2012 can definitely go down as the worst yoga class attendance month this year, I don’t skip the workouts on the 24th, 25th and 26th. Before yoga I used to go on a 5-7 km run in the morning on the Christmas days. I find it really makes me relaxed and especially for people who worry about weight and food it’s a good strategy to not stress so much about it.
  • Up The Greens. When it comes to Christmas I have a very simple plan: I eat really healthy…right up until the point that I don’t! So on the day(s) before and Christmas morning, I up my intake of green juice, superfood smoothies, salads and fresh fruit. By doing this, I have gotten in all necessary nutrients and feel like I have some ‘wiggle room’. Consequently, I am completely okay with whatever rich and creamy dish I am going to devour by the time I sit down at the dining room table.
  • Spend some time alone.  I love being with people, but I need to be alone. I become withdrawn, closed off and downright unpleasant if I can’t have a few moments to myself. Basically if I want to function like a normal person, I have to be left alone a couple of hours a day so I can recharge and be my normal pleasant self again when I’m with people. Knowing this, I get up a little earlier to spend some time alone behind my laptop or on my yoga mat, and I bring a book and notepad so I can escape for half an hour for reading and writing during the day if necessary.
  • No alcohol for me. Sorry to be a bore, but I don’t drink at Christmas. Apart from the rare glass of white wine, I have always spent Christmas sober: I really enjoy my Christmas family dinner without alcohol – It helps none of my family members drive me to drinking. I save alcohol for parties where I can make a fool of myself, thank you very much. No alcohol means drinking water, which is healthy. No alcohol also helps me getting right back into my usual groove after Christmas as I don’t suffer any after effects.

And that, dear boys and girls, is how The Self Help Hipster stays sane during The Holidays. How about you? Tips on dealing with relatives, feeder-grandmothers (“Come on sweetie, eat another turkey leg! You need to grow!”) and all that?

How To Put Extra- In The Ordinary Days.

 General Self Help, Inspiration, Life lessons, Making Things Easier  7 Responses »
Oct 222012
 

“When you realise most of your life will be consumed by normal days rather the extraordinary ones, you feel motivated to raise the overall quality of these normal days” – Steve Pavlina. 

Maybe it’s just my life that’s very normal, but my regular days are: regular.  I work, I work-out, I go do groceries, I have dinner and I go to bed. Hopefully I saw someone I like in between. No amazing accomplishments every day, I don’t go to magical places every day (unless my kitchen counts, which in my opinion it does) nor do I have a special event or something every day.

I love my regular days, though. I love being at work, in my house, eating dinner with Manfred in front of Australian Master Chef (LOVE IT) and going to sleep in our damned-mosquite ridden bedroom. And I believe you can make the regular days exactly the reason why your life is so beautiful and special. And here’s how you do it.

  • Try to do something new or different somewhere during the day

A small but big way to make every day unique is by adding an original experience or by giving a routine a different twist or flavor. It can be a big one, like doing something (scary) for the first time, trying an interesting sports-class or dance lesson, but it’s also perfectly fine to keep it small: Try a new recipe, take a different route home, sit with someone else at lunch, buy flowers on your way home, go for a walk somewhere.

You can also change it up by doing something extra or different to your routines. Shower at night instead of in the morning. Put on different music while cooking or studying. Read a book your boyfriend likes and you have yet to understand why. Add a series of jumping jacks or push ups to your exercise routine, or maybe a Beyonce Dancebreak.

Basically add or change something in your usual stuff to make your day more memorable. A great way to shake things up and sometimes you find stuff you really like!
  • Indulge a little (or a lot)
I am a big believer in spoiling one’s self – not in a crazy dysfunctional bankrupt type of way, but in a cute healthy self loving type of way. By treating yourself on regular days too, in whatever tiny way, you make your day more special. You continuously add to your self love evidence, resulting in more self love and self-esteem which leads to a happier, more radiant you. Bonus points there, right?

So treat yourself! A facial mask, a dessert, a yoga class, some organic vegetables, a coffee or tea to go, a 30-minute power nap, a glass of wine. An early night in or a late night out. A cute cupcake or a wheatgrass shot. Some alone time or some cuddling. Include a hey-I-love-you-gesture to yourself in every day.
  • Spend time with your favorite people
P.I.A.B. People = Puppy In A Blanket People. People who make me feel like I’m a little puppy in a blanket: all warm, protected and cute and cuddly. It’s good to be around your loved ones. I find few things more amazing and gratifying than being around my oldest friends, my new friends and my wonderful family.

So visit your best friend, your mom, your favorite co-worker, an old buddy from the gym or invite your cousins over for dinner. Take a walk with your significant other. However ordinary the day might have been, by hanging out with them you make memories that you can always keep and that adds something wonderful to your normal life, doesn’t it?
  • Spend time with yourself
I know a lot of people recognize this: I need at least some form of genuine alone-time in order to function properly. If not, I become…unpleasant. To say the least.

But it’s not just for functioning, it’s also for optimal functioning: By spending time with yourself you become more at ease with being on your own, which is good, and get to know the important stuff about you! Alone time is often when you truly figure out your real goals, your desires, what you want to do, how you really feel and that will help you guide yourself into the direction you want to go in!

Also, the time you spend with yourself you can devote to truly take care of yourself. See Self-Love. Figure out what amount of me-time is adequate and what you should add to make your days a significant amount more amazing. And then add that.
  • Work on something extraordinary every day

Whether it’s the baby room, your novel, your dissertation, your drawings, your paintings, your website, your meditation practice, your starting business, your music, your wardrobe, whatever: Devote some time to that thing in your life you love more than anything else.

Work on that thing that you regard as extraordinary and most important, work on that something you would like to finish before you leave this earth. As little as five to ten minutes, whatever you have to spare: This way your normal days are infused with value and importance.

Normal days are nothing to sneeze at. Everything might be regular and ordinary, but you’ll be bringing that little ‘Extra-’ that will make everything special. Have a wonderful Monday, everyone.

Course Sneak Peek: 15 Self Help Suggestions

 General Self Help, How to, Lists  13 Responses »
Oct 022012
 
This list is a sneak-peek of what kind of material Self Help Course Level 1 entailed: I mostly send out longer text-material on Mondays and provide fun lists & exercises to entertain my students with over the weekend. I couldn’t resist sharing this little Self Help Suggestions with you that my students got the second week: It was a favorite. I don’t know when I will be doing a Self Help Course again, but consider this a peek into my cabinet of tricks. It’s one big ass cabinet.
  • Make a list of things you’ve been putting off for as long as you can remember (the type of things that start bugging you when you’re in bed and should go to sleep, you know?).  Take a first step to cross then off your list. Hell, take two.
  •  Pick your favorite self help book and do the first exercise that’s provided in the book. Pretend the author is patting your shoulder and giving you notes.
  • Think about things you want on your resume. A certain language, hobby, internship, committee? Take an active step to make that more of a reality! Sign up for a course, send an e-mail to Human Resources of that company, write the sorority , call the club to see if you can come try out. Babysteps, remember?
  • Have a talk with a close friend about things you want to improve in your life. Confide in each other. Help eachother out. Share experiences and tips. Leave all inspired and excited. Inquire in each other’s progress every once in a while.
  • On your days off from school or work, still get up on a reasonable hour, shower, dress up and make yourself look nice and pretty. It will set a good tone and you’ll be more action-oriented, productive and positive.
  • Make a friendly bet with your boyfriend, roommate or a competitive brother or sister. Who can run the most kilometers this month? Who can crank out the most words for your book, blog or thesis? Who can make the most hours to study? Make it fun and hang a progress chart in shared space so you can keep score easily! Treat eachother to dinner or a gift by the end of the bet!
  • Set a timer and do something for 30 minutes, 45 minutes of 60 minutes, no interruptions. Whether it’s cleaning your room, writing, making a study schedule or even just relaxing, train yourself to focus on one thing only for a certain period of time. Bonus point if you can build up to longer interrupted times.
  • Try working out in the morning. Sets a great tone for the rest of the day too; you’ve already taken care of your health so you’ll feel awesome and feeling awesome inspires more awesome actions!
  • Start a 30-Day Trial!
  • Look on your favorite self-help website or browse through your favorite self-help book and underline/write down the things applicable to your life. We need to learn to read this stuff while keeping our own lives in mind. That way we bridge the gap from knowing to doing.
  • Try ‘Stuffing A Day’. Have one day a week/a month that you stuff with all this life improving stuff. On a ‘Stuffed Day’ you go to the market for fresh fruits, you go to a yoga class, study for two hours, see your most inspiring friend and have a language course at night. This way you can feel really great about that day and it will also inspire you to do more of these good things during the week!
  • No Internet or Television for a day. Your productivity will soar, but it’s not always easy. Good luck. ;-)
  • Create your ideal week schedule, but don’t overdose yourself with new habits; choose one. Now, slow and steady implement it in your routines. See where you end up.

I’m still sick unfortunately, fever turned into a mean stomach bug that has me in bed and watching more Glee than is good for a person. I now honestly don’t understand why Manfred doesn’t do a choreographed ballad when he comes home from work. Hope you guys are good and that I can write from an upright position anytime soon!

(Cold) Shower Epiphany!

 Discipline, General Self Help  7 Responses »
Jul 132012
 

So, I’ve been doing a new 30-Day Trial for the last couple of weeks where I end my showers with 20 seconds of ice cold water. It’s good for blood circulation, firmness, your skin, plus it is really funny when you’re showering with your boyfriend who has NO idea you’re currently on that. TRUST ME.

I didn’t think it was really worth writing about, I just wanted to give it a go. I like it, and it was easy to install. I do it without even thinking about it. I’m conditioning myself so easily lately you’d think I’d was a Pavlovian dog or a Skinner pidgeon.

Anyway, yesterday I was in the shower, and as I was getting ready to get out, this happened in my head. “Oh shit, I still have to change to cold water.“– “Ugh, dude, I am not in the mood – let’s just end with warm water this one time, okay?”

And literally, before I could even consciously process what was going on, I automatically thought, very clearly: “I don’t care what I’m in the mood for!”, yanked the thermostat to Ice Age Degrees Celsius (and okay, maybe screamed a little bit after but that’s not the point I’m trying to make).

That thought, albeit about an insignificant thing this time, is a big deal. Because it overrides our temporary state of ‘not being in the mood for something’ and focuses on the bigger picture. Not being in the mood for something is a stupid reason not to do the things that are really good for you!

Why? Moods change! Goals don’t!

The things we want to do for ourselves are constant. How badly we want to achieve them and work for them, that stuff is under the influence of temporary and variable external factors, like moods, life events and biological changes. Now, how important are we going to let those things be? The right answer would be ‘not very’.

Think “I don’t care what I’m in the mood for” every once in a while. Just wave at that part that’s “not in the mood for something”, maybe even stick out your tongue in some friendly mocking and start doing the things that are going to have good effects on your life anyway, despite what you’re in the mood for. I bet you’ll be in an excellent mood soon thereafter.

*or at least not a billion times a day like our moods can do: Oh, life of the emotionally unstable. 

10 Things Good For The Brain

 Autodidacticsm, Brain Training, General Self Help, Making Things Easier  13 Responses »
Jun 062012
 

1: Have an Internet Free day. The constant stream of ever-updating information is eventually too much for even the most relaxed brain to handle. By shutting down your Internet for a day, you’ll be amazed how quiet and relaxed your mind is at the end of the day and how much more you can take in the days after. Also, procrastinating just became a lot harder without Twitter and WeHeartIt available.

2. Write with your other hand. Even if it’s just your name, the alphabet or a dirty limerick, it’s supposedly very good for your head, activating different neurons and increasing your focus and flexibility. It may look awful, but it’s good for ya and besides, do it for a year and you’ll be amazed how much it will have improved!

3. Turn off your phone. While you’re working, while with a friend, while enjoying a book, while anything. Being focused on one thing completely without any distractions gives you many benefits; for one thing you’ll finish your task sooner but your brain learns to be more efficient. Plus, you’ll probably sleep better afterwards. Unless you’re a surgeon on call or your wife is about to have a baby, I’m pretty sure people can do without you for a few hours.

4. Read a book, listen to a song or watch a movie in a different language. And not just the English (because you probably have enough understanding of that language to fully follow everything), but something in French, Swedish, Italian, Spanish or German. Listening to or learning different languages is one of the best things you can do for your head. Plus, it looks great on your resume.

5. Turn off the TV or set a limit on watching it. I find a good television show (such as Doctor Who, House M.D. or even New Girl) very stimulating in a positive  way, so I don’t ban watching TV completely myself. However, it has been shown to lead to attentional deficits in children in multiple studies, which is quite a horrible prospective. And to be honest, looking at my own life, big chance it’s true.

The more I watch TV, the harder it is for me to focus and concentrate for extended periods of time, and I also become a lot more sedentary and passive. You basically get so much visual and auditory stimulation handed to you, your brain gets used to the overload and you get used to not having to do anything for mental stimulation. Neither are great features of watching TV, which is why lately when I come home from work, I try to watch only one hour and then go do other stuff, like things for work or writing. I get a lot more done lately.

6. Make music. Sing, play your ukelele, sit down behind your father’s piano or use your Sing Star equipment. Another great and entertaining way to train your brain.

7. Challenge your brain with some helpful programs. ‘You snooze, you lose’, which is a terrifying idea to me when it comes to my brain, unfortunately applies. There is a reason so many Brain Training books and Apps are out these days: we could all use a little more mental stimulation.  You don’t have to make homework every day like you did when you were in high school (thank God!), but it’s good for your head to solve a few math problems, work on a spatial rotation task or do something with face recognition. There’s always an app available. I use BrainChallenge on my iPod, but I could use some fun suggestions for the iPad!

8.  Look at a map. Seriously. Go to Google Earth, Google Earth your street and from thereon zoom out and try to make sense of your neigborhood, your city and the area surrounding it. Very good for spatial orientation. And you know, might save you some confusion and screaming at your Satellite Navigator should you ever need it.

9. Pretend to be artistic. You don’t have to get an easel, palette and cut off your ear, but drawing, making something with your hands or even just doodling works both hemispheres (your rational right and your funky left) and increases communication between the two sides as well activate a lot of different areas in the brain.

10. This. The WikiHow on How To Be Smart: It’s very simplistic but a nice read with cute pictures. It seems targeted at teenagers, as it also teaches you how to deal with bullying (which I hope you don’t need advice for) and how to ‘sound’ smart, which I only recommend if you have the intelligence to back it up later on.

And finally, sleep. Among the theories of sleep there is one, supported by the fact we have REM sleep, that states we need sleep to repair and restore brain and body processes. So get your shut eye. Best excuse I’ve come up with for a nap thus far. So. Excuse me.

The Key Principles of Life for your Ultimate Self.

 General Self Help, Important Stuff  8 Responses »
Mar 072012
 

If there is one book I could recommend to you, it’s Steve Pavlina’s “Personal Development for Smart People.” I got it as an iBook for my iPad: the best 1,99 I have ever spent (it beats Plants VS Zombies and Angry Birds, so that means a lot.)  Also, can I just point out the bargain? This iBook is 2 euros. And it is mind blowing.

It is one of the best, if not the best book on self development I have ever read –and trust me, I’ve done the field work to know. His approach is intelligence meets intuition. I’ll discuss it more thoroughly in another post, but it’s great. You should definitely read it if you’re into self development.  The triangle below is what he discusses in the book, key principles to live by, with clear theory and instructions:

I started thinking about that today, those key principles of the Triangle. Truth, Love and Power. That combination is who I want to be, what I want to stand for.

Truth is a a mental state to me, one where I’m aware of what is important to me. It’s where I don’t get distracted by negativity, other people’s drama or less-than-ideal circumstances, because I am focused on the things that really matter. It makes it easy to have my behavior be completely in line with who I am on the inside. It’s also very easy for me to be straight with people when I’m in line with Truth. I know what’s right and what’s wrong because both my intuition and intelligence are completely in line. I may not know everything, but I know what is right, especially when it’s about my own choices and actions.

Love is the attitude where I am filled with love towards others. I am very relaxed because I feel loved, happy and safe. I am not suspicious, anxious or worried about my relationships or the people I love. I trust everyone in my life, and I assume them to be well and to mean well. I offer help and kind words to everyone I care for. It’s a very open and gentle attitude that I have towards everyone I meet.

And Power is a state where I do what has to be done, because I know and feel that I can, and so I do it. I don’t hesitate, don’t linger, don’t procrastinate. I am action-oriented. I feel capable and determined. I’m also operating from a sincere interest and curiosity: what can I do now? What can I do next? It’s not letting my time and my energy go to waste, using it well because I know I can.

For me, when those key principles come together, I am my Ultimate Self. Even without being a superstar, a bestseller writer or model thin. Even without having perfect skin, the perfect ass, the perfect shoes. I can feel that I’m being who I’m supposed to be, living how I’m supposed to live and therefore turning into who I am destined to be.

When do you feel like that?

Perfection in Self-Help:

 General Self Help  No Responses »
Dec 192011
 

The goal is not to become a perfect human . You’d only freak everyone the fuck out anyway. The goal is (or should be) the become who you feel you are on the inside. I know it sounds fucking lame, but I preach truth, even if it’s in corny statements.

Perfection is not a certain weight. Perfection is not straight A’s on your list, it’s not having a clean criminal record, not the perfect Birkin bag, not a row of Louboutin heels. Perfection is living the life you want. Perfection is unending curiosity to what you could improve next. The goal is to develop into the person you want to be. The goal is to improve, to feel better about yourself and your life, to get better at things you love to do, to grow as a human being and to be happy.

That’s all the perfect you’re ever going to need.

How to read self-help books:

 General Self Help  No Responses »
Dec 172011
 

Reading a self help book is a little tricky. Either you try to apply everything you read all at once, causing a mental (or physical!) breakdown and fetal position rocking, or you read it all…and never do anything with it. Both result in no tangible improvement whatsoever. Clearly, neither are suited for the young enthusiast that you are, trying to improve your life. Turns out, you can do it differently.

I actually fell into that last category: Read & Not Do Shit. I read every self help book I could get my hands on but never really put the things out of the books into practice. I used to beat myself up over it but now I realize that self-help books are a very specific, weird type of book that should come with a manual on its own how to most effectively read them! I took it upon myself to make a mini-manual.

1. Read it with your own life in mind. 

The first thing you should always keep focused on is how the book can help you with your life. Otherwise, you fill your head with the author’s story, information you can’t really use, tips that aren’t even applicable to your situation and that’s not going to very helpful.

I mean, I think it’s great that Example Eddie found a partner by applying Social Strategy #432, but I think my boyfriend would get a little upset if I did the same thing. Just like it has no use for you to learn how to do a great job interview while you have a great job and no intention of leaving. I mean, you can read it, but keep in mind that it’s less important than the stuff you could use to improve your life right fucking now.

2. Take it slow. 

This is not a fiction book where you can skip over a boring conversation or rush through the riveting build-up to get to the plot. In these books, if you read over stuff, you’re going to miss stuff. So really try to take it sentence by sentence. Let it sink in a little, think about a certain phrase or quote for a minute before you go onto the next part.

3. Take notes.

This, to me, is absolutely essential. I scribble in margins, grab a notebook, put in post-its, underline, mark up, all that. I make my books look like I’m a kid in high school, doing homework. I do this because I always feel there is a gap between the author’s helpful written words and the practical use for its information into my life. By reading so actively through taking notes, I make those words practical immediately. It ensures a better and more concrete understanding of what I’m reading.

So (ab)use your self help book like you did your books in school. They’re to-do books, notebooks. Make them yours so the information becomes more yours too.

4. Try doing a few of the assignments in the book.

Often, these types of books come with assignments or tips. Try them. Seriously. I’ve heard they are in it for a reason and not just for decoration.

5. Select

You can’t do everything at once. So, as you read or after you’ve read it, make a list of the things you’d like to try.* Pick one, two max, to try and implement into your life the upcoming days and weeks. By picking (a few) small thing(s), it becomes simple and concrete to take immediate action and just try out how it works for you.

*If you want, you can make it a mental list but honestly, if you knew how much it helped to think on paper, you’d write that shit down.

6. Evaluate. 

There’s the real punch line: just because some smart ass wrote it down desn’t make it a universal truth. Epiphany: not everything will work for you, not even if it did for somebod else before. So, if you’re a night owl and meditating at sunrise does not give you mental peace but overwhelming rage instead, maybe it’s not the best idea to keep trying. And if the Cabbage Diet give you gas, for the love of God (and people around you) please realise you need to try something else.

If it works, if it’s effective and you’re reaping benefits, continue. If it doesn’t work, you can either try to tweak it so it can be effective or you stop and start doing something else. Just do whatever you need to do to make something work for you.

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