Greetings and love to you, random Internet citizen. This is me in my study room in our apartment, wearing Manfriend’s Alpaca wool hoodie*. No, I haven’t showered yet. Yes, that IS mascara under my eyes, thank you for noticing. Sloth becomes me.
Anyway. There is a few things you only really discover once you’re in a hole you dug for yourself…and something you learn when you start climbing out of it.
One, I use humor as a coping mechanism. Apparently I’m of the philosophy “if you’re miserable, at least try to be funny so you don’t completely repel your social environment and have to stay home alone forever”. Seems to have worked so far because I still get invited to go places. 10/10, would recommend.
Two, everyone’s life looks fabulous and amazing on the Internet. Good for you, really, but everybody blogs/tweets/Instagrams ALL the work-outs, ALL the events, ALL the friends and ALL the healthy foods. To me personally, it looks like one giant blur of the same things repeated over and over in different outfits.
I’m not hating — I’m real happy for you and imma let you finish but honestly I am just REALLY happy I no longer feel like staying in bed with chocolate, Supernatural episodes and emo music. Score, but not very tweetable. Hence, I don’t tweet or IG very often.
Three, after a while of focusing on functioning, doing what I like and not having to do so much anymore, things are getting a little better. My general sense of happiness has climbed from a 4 or 5 on good days to somewhere around 7, and even 8 on really good ones.
But most importantly, I have found an interesting thing called acceptance. I don’t know where I picked it up, but all of a sudden I looked and it was just there. I truly am okay, and actually quite content with the current state of affairs.
So what I am not as hysterically happy and inspired as I used to be. At least I don’t want to throw myself off a cliff (anymore). At least I am functional. At least I can write a little when I want to. At least I have managed to stay pleasant to the people around me.
And I’m not less of a person just because I’m not euphoric and zesty. The person that I am now is fine too. A little rougher around the edges, but just as good a heart and kind a soul. Maybe even a little wiser.
And so what I’m not exercising as I used to? Right now, I just do some yoga here and there — and unenthusiastically at that**. But I don’t care. The amount of work-outs I do and my amount of body fat/weight does not define me. My body is fine as it is and I have decided to love it. If I gain a little bit of weight I will still love it. I will go back to being the enthusiastic yogi when I’m ready for it.
And okay, maybe things aren’t brilliant. Or amazing. Or glamorous. I am not living out all of my dreams. But I am living, and that’s wonderful enough. I’m thankful for everything I have. I already have so much.
A roof over my head, family and friends that love me no matter how cranky I can be, food in the fridge. A job that I love, a job at all for that matter. The fact that people still like to read my blog and still comment while I’m being a sulky weirdo is astounding to me (thanks).
Over these past few months, I got to know myself better. Or maybe I just forgot about some important parts and got to know myself again. Whatever the semantics, I do know this. Who I am, happy or unhappy version, is absolutely good enough for me.
A little while back, I was at a festival with Angel***, my best friend from high school and she inquired if I had started liking myself again. That day, I told her ‘no’. No, I had not started liking myself again yet.
Today, sitting in front of my laptop in my boyfriend’s hoodie, I can finally tell her, and all of you, ‘yes’. Thumbs up and Namaste.
you don’t follow me on Twitter and Instagram you are not obsessed with me and haven’t seen the one or two tweets/pics I posted about this, my manfriend was traveling through South America for six weeks. Now he’s back and he brought crazy amounts of Alpaca wool stuff. Next to joy of having the Manfriend himself around, the super warm blankets, scarfs and hoodies he brought back with him are bringing me TREMENDOUS joy in these times or rain and disappointing temperatures.
**I watch tv while I do yoga and the last few Savasanahs I was in I ended up playing Angry Birds. And I don’t even like Angry Birds anymore.
***Don’t worry, she’s not a stripper. I always called her that on-line because she is so pure and good at heart. This was before I realized it made her sound like butt glitter and see-through stilettos.
I can beat around the bush, but anyone who has seem me attempt to play hockey can tell you, I’m not very good with a stick. So in the bluntest, shortest way possible, here’s what it is: I’ve been telling myself I am a loser. For like, four months.
I have been beating myself senseless with the same message, wrapped in a few different sentences. That I’m a loser.
For the longest time I was perfectly happy with who I was, and striving happily for who I want to be. But sometimes a combination of life and personality knocks you on your ass, and your higher, happy self writes checks your more vulnerable self can’t cash. That’s what happened to me.
All I kept hanging over my head was everyting I’m not, everything I should be or should have been by now, and all the things other people are better at than me. You’re not good enough you’re not good enough you’re not good enough.
Not a good enough writer, teacher, girlfriend, blogger, person. I am less, inferior.
I have been beating myself up, constantly. Because I am not a writer yet. Because I am unsuccessful, because I procrastinate, because I am not skinny, because I am not rich, because other peple look better than I do, because I feel weaker than other people.
I know I don’t write much right now. I can imagine that to a reader, I am only a grumpy shadow of this happy ‘inspirational’ person who used to write here, but one thing is the same: I always write straight from the heart. This is in my heart right now. I am dealing with a rampant inferiority complex combined with perfectionism. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.
And I think we’ve all felt that way about ourselves on way or another, almost everyone knows the feeling of not being good enough.
For whatever reason it may be. Maybe because you were rejected for a job or school, or some guy didn’t like you as much as you hoped. Maybe more self-inflicted, like beating yourself up over useless stuff. Like how you don’t exercise as much as someone else. Or how you just so happen to not have your dream job while people around you all seem to follow their passion. Maybe because you are not as thin as someone else, not as popular, not as pretty, because you don’t have a huge impressive wardrobe.
But that’s just not how it works, sweethearts.
You are not less. You are not a loser. No matter what you have or what you do, there is something within you that is perfect and enough. It is worthy of love and acceptance. It is pure, it is you, and it’s that deepest part of you, that is good enough no matter what.
It’s something that doesn’t need to be altered. It’s from that place that you can grow or improve, sure, but that basic inner thing is perfect as it is.
I decided to go back to that. I had a week off and I decided to completely cut the whole “I have to”-sentence out of my vocabulary. I decided to not do anything about anything. Because actually, I don’t have to do anything. I am my own self-assigned drill sergeant, and I fucking fired myself in that department.
Instead, I just did whatever I fucking pleased. (A+ 10/10 highly recommend)
I forgot about everyone else’s life, how they look, what they do. How everyone is doing these amazing things, crossing off everything on their to-do lists, constantly working out, buying amazing clothes, signing amazing deals. No offense, but I stopped caring.
I just enjoyed my days for what they were, and that was nice. I didn’t go “tomorrow I’m going to change my entire life!!1!!” Because I just want to be for a little while and just enjoy. Just find joy.
And so I went to the market, not because I have to eat extremely healthy or otherwise the world will end, but because I had a craving for beet-grapefruit juice and wanted pretty green limes in my fruit bowl.
I got a haircut, just because. I took myself out for a coffee date, not because I had to write a couple of thousand words but because I wanted to sit in a coffee shop and drink coffee.
I read a lot, because I wanted the comfort of books over Internet and television. Not because I felt I had to. I watched Finding Nemo, Brave and Tron because I LOVE Disney movies. I played my favorite computer adventure games of all time (Secret of Monkey Island and Curse of the Monkey Island) without a constant nagging I should have been exercising or writing instead.
I wrote for my eyes only, and rekindled my connection with my imaginary friends (they’re really fun once you get to know them). I forgot about ‘having to blog’ because my blog has always been a labor of love for writing and self help, not of pressure to deliver to an audience.
I went to bed late, and slept in. I didn’t exercise once this week. Why not, you ask? Because I don’t have to. I didn’t want to and so I didn’t.
I didn’t make any to do lists. I sat on my balcony, got a tan. Graded some papers — Weird, I know but I enjoy grading. I ordered Indian take out and realized Indian food really is my favorite food . I bought myself a few simple t-shirts and a pair of jeans, on sale.
And you know what? I feel better. More accepting of how I feel and how things are. Less preoccupied with “having to bounce back asap”, with “making a comeback”, with feeling better because other people are expecting me to. This is how it is, this is how I feel and that’s okay.
Sometimes you gotta learn the hard way, and sometimes you gotta stand still even when everyone and everything around you is moving.
And now, to draw this long-winded article illustrating my complexes to a close, I present you with the punch line:
If there is anyone out there like me, I hope you get something from this. If you are tired, fed up with saying “I have to” and “I’m not good enough” to yourself, sick from feeling like you’re forcing, I hope you can find it in you to stop and take a break. Not for ever, but for as long as you can and as long as you need.
Because you are good enough. Even if you’re not striving and achieving and competing and coming out on top. Because you got something in you that’s already perfect. You don’t have to do anything. If you had forgotten about that, I hope this story made you remember.
And in case of TL;DR at least you got to admire my new sweater and haircut!
So, Saturday afternoon this gorgeous girl picked me up in her car, champagne in the backseat for a nice weekend get-away*.
While listening to Florence & the Machine, Robyn and Gui Boratto we had ourselves a roadtrip to…Putten. Which was super nice and foresty. Not very International Playgirl yet, but we gotta start somewhere, right?
There was a very fabulous part involved, though: Lin and I got invited to go to a Wellness Day by Lighthouseworks called Happy Healthy Sunday, a blend of detoxing and pampering the self in a beautiful environment.
Considering the most exciting thing I get in my inbox normally is if I can please start advertising diet pills or if some guy in India can help me to put me on #1 in Google Search for 999$, this was really cool to me. I mean, they invited the weird self help girl.
Anyway, Lin and I do see each other quite often, but other times our weeks are so busy we can only squeeze in a cup of coffee or a quick dinner. This inspired us to make a whole girlfriend weekend out of it. It was so nice to have such an extended period of uninterrupted girl-time like this on top of the wellness day.
We booked a little hotel in Putten so we’d only have to drive 15* minutes to the location of Lighthouseworks. I just love hotels. Fluffy white hotel beds, artsy pictures of city skylines and breakfast buffets. What’s not to love. As pictured above, due to a lack of fridge we devised a system to keep the champagne cold. Also, wine.
For dinner we went to this Italian place nearby – and I had pasta with cherry tomatoes and basil. My pasta was good, but Lin had this amazing creamy truffle-mushroom one that gave me a wicked case of Food Envy (which is totally a thing, look it up).
After that we just went back to the hotel, drank champagne and watched crappy television shows until we fell asleep.
The crappy television show was actually very educational: We watched The Voice UK and I now know a) that who I originally had labeled ‘the old black guy from the Voice UK’ is actually Tom Jones who is not only not-black but Welsh, b) the sexy tattooed boy is from The Script –
sometimes I live under a rock you guys, and c) Jessie J has really shiny hair.
After that we watched a bit of Jersey Shore and I just really don’t even know what to say about that, except that I find those guys on that show are so unattractive I’d rather make out with a dead turtle.
Anyway. Off topic. Let’s get back on track.
The next morning we showered, had a leisurely breakfast in the hotel and went on our way to Lighthouse Works.
Happy Healthy Sunday? Basically a whole festival of things (almost) everyone loves to do. I am going to blog about ALL the things, but in overview this was our Happy Healthy Sunday:
Lin and I spent the day together, having a wonderful time, talking and laughing and taking pictures. We did yoga, went in and out of saunas, enjoyed the sun and the beautitful surroundings. We did a workshop about natural beauty, we tasted some delicious juices. We had a nice lunch with the people we were with, and I also got a reiki treatment that was very moving and very helpful, going to write about that too.
We ended the day with a short meditation, and driving home I was so chilled out I didn’t even speed
that much. I found the whole thing very relaxing and inspiring. It was a day I used to recharge, and it gave me lots of new ideas and insights to incorporate in day-to-day life. Big thank you to Cherry Picker PR & Lighthouse Works for that, and more on that soon.
* I am trying to make our friendship sound as lesbian as possible and figured I’d get a head start at it in the very first sentence.
**5 if you’re accidentally speeding.
(In case anyone is wondering**, this is not greasy hair. I had actually just washed my hair but I reached a hair length where blowdrying takes half my day and the sacrifice of two small animals. I am lazy. I tend to walk around with wet hair most of the time.)
So. Over the past few days I became aware of a couple of things. Number one, my Bloglovin’ stats have -quite undeservingly- been growing. …I’m not even here! I am dicking around in the real world, worrying about my quarter-life crisis! I think it’s hilarious: You guys either like
my whining personal updates OR are just loving the fact that I am not here regularly.
Second, putting a whiny piece about yourself on the Internet? Will not actually make you feel better. In fact, it’s just sort of embarassing. And I have a high threshold for embarassing shit. I danced to Britney Spears ‘Hit Me Baby (One More Time)’ at an assemblee. So for all on-line writers, let this be a lesson: Whining on the Internet does not make you feel better. So you know, you might as well not do it.
Glad that I did it, though. For myself and for you guys. I think I needed to share, and I want to paint a realistic portrait of who I am as well as the ‘positive lifestyle’ (wow that sounds awful). See, I think a healthy way to live is to work on as much positivity and proactivity as you can, and be all about the rainbows and puppies. But you know what? It can still rain, and your puppies shit on the carpet.
Just because you make a lot of gratitude lists and read a lot of self help books doesn’t mean you can’t go through a rough patch. Even the positivity-breathing self-help junkie gets down (on herself) every once in a while. What is important is that you don’t let it knock you down. At least not for long. It’s not like you have been doing it all for nothing, you just need to take your time to recover and bounce back.
Now, as the self help enthusiast that I am, I reread many of my favorite self help books over and over again. I always find something new I can work with. And I stumbled upon something that resonated very well with me and what I’m going through right now, written in one of my favorite spiritual self help books ‘Add More ~Ing To Your Life’, by Gabby Bernstein who is fabulous and spiritual at the same time***.
I read about “ego backlash” and instantly knew that this was at least partially in play in my life right now. Basically it’s when you’ve been doing well for quite a while, committing to taking good care of yourself and your life and all of a sudden your ego freaks the fuck out and “drag you right down”. In the book Gabby described that when it happened to her, she called her mentor who told her:
“Many times when things are good, we stop working as hard. That allows the ego to slip back in. So the best thing to do when things are good is actually to work harder.”
This was true for me. Things were good. Everything was fine, you know? Nothing major, but at least going well at an easy pace. And I had stopped working as hard as I used to do because of it. Less healthy food, more coffee. Less yoga, more television. Too little time dedicated to writing and reiki, too much time procrastinating on the Internet. And when I was vulnerable after two disappointing events, the ego was able to hit me down with a sledgehammer and every issue I ever had about myself.
So I’m back to working hard for my emotional, physical and mental well-being. Behind the scenes, I am actually busting my ass for my own well-being. More healthy foods, more intellectually stimulating stuff, of course, yoga and bringing back all the other things I lost over time.
And I find that taking the pro-active road in feeling better in itself already helps. t’s like I finally am coming to terms with how I am feeling at this moment, with how my life looks at this moment, because I know I am on my way to feel better and on my way to do better.
And now that we all know I am on my way to become less whiny and more self help preachy again, I am going to put on several of my warmest sweaters because honestly from the temperatures here I could have sworn I accidentally teleported to Siberia***. Later babes.
long awaited critically acclaimed sequel to Some Whining.
**And I sincerely hope you’re not.
***Proving you need to wear hemp shirts and chant to multi-limbed Gods to incorporate a spiritual practice into your life. You can be spiritual AND wear amazing shoes as the same time.
****Slight exaggeration may occur.
(Enter exasperated sound here.)
Look, not that having my plethora of issues and first world problems on-line for the entire world to see isn’t super-appealing or whatever, but it can be distilled into a few simple sentences we probably have all thought about ourselves at one point or another:
I am disappointed.
In myself. In who I am or better said, who I am not (yet). I feel like this half assed, average version of what I am supposed to be. I know I am being dramatic. I know I have crazy ridiculous standards I hold myself against**. I know my current mood is a huge influence on my dramatics. But it’s how I feel anyway. Brain chemistry 1 – Rationalization 0.
As anyone who knows me is well aware of, I have the attention span of a coke fed gerbil. I let that attention-span rule me a little too much — I find everything in life incredibly distracting and let it distract me up to a point where I don’t even know where I am anymore. And a few weeks ago I landed back where I am. I looked around, something snapped awake, and snapped at me:
“Really? Really, Li? Is this it? You’re a twenty-something writer who teaches part-time, you do some yoga and you write fluffy self help articles on the Internet. Big whoop. …What happened to you and your big goals and dreams? Are you really this average person with a big nose***?”
So, this realization on top of just a general sense of dissatisfaction and a few setbacks kind of sent me down into a further fit of detachment and despair.
Which is unlike me. For one thing, I am usually that positive nut job that gets really happy over a double latte, the smell of rain and all that nonsense. That usually helps me bounce back quickly. For another, I am quite literally a walking, talking database of everything self help and self development****. You know I love the point of “you have to use what you know before it works” and I am a very, very good example of this right now. All this knowledge has been unsuccessful in kicking my own ass back into my normal patterns and back into the flow.
Thusfar, at least. Because as these past weeks passed, I realized two things.
First, being disappointed in myself sucks. Being disappointed in yourself, for whatever reason, big or small, is a burden. But not one you can’t lift, not one you can’t get rid of. Whether it is by correcting past mistakes or by being better, there is something you can do about it.
Second, desperate times? Desperate measures. It’s gonna feel about as natural as icefishing on Mars, but I am going to Rambo my way through this fucking crisis. There is one thing that improves my life no matter what. Time to put some action-hero mentality back into the game.
*I AM TURNING 25 IN A FEW WEEKS AND I’M TAKING IT LIGHTLY, CAN’T YOU TELL.
**Which is usually a good thing because nobody gets anywhere by raising the bar to medium.
***As those of you who follow me on Instagram know, it’s national Nose Joke Week. Enjoy.
****When I people give me advice, I just want to scream “YES I KNOW I READ 23 BOOKS ON THE SUBJECT PLEASE STOP TALKING BEFORE I PUNCH YOU”
Not gonna lie, you guys – had a weird and rough couple of days. Now, if I was writing this blog as my 18-year old self, a supercandid oversharer, I would always give you all the ins and outs about my mishaps. I know that shit is interesting to a lot of people, and when I was younger I would have satisfied your curiosity up to a point where you’d be craving a smoke and putting me on speed-dial. But no more.
I have gotten a lot more private over the years. I don’t run a personal blog anymore. Also, no offense, I totally love most of you but as Tessa from Retail has said “75% of people are crazy. I don’t have time to get their Facebook details from them and be friends with them, so I’m just gonna have to play it safe.”
However, you can’t really avoid talking about yourself and your life when you’re running a blog on self help and self development. If you wanna make it useful, you’re going to have to share stuff about said self. Even, or maybe especially, when things aren’t going so well. So that’s what I’m doing. Because this self had a shit weekend!
Here’s the thing. I usually successfully pull off things I want to do. Sorry if me saying that pisses you off. I admit, it is partially me being an arrogant dick (sorry), but it’s also pretty simple: I know which things to pursue. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and am pretty honest about them, leading me to the right endeavors. Plus, my intuition is usually pretty decent and I tend to listen to it. Obviously those two things bring down the failure rate. I know the areas to be in, and I usually sense if I should do something or not. Usually, not always.
Because I accepted a teaching position that I thought was a good idea, but last week when I truly experienced what I had to be doing and was going to deal with two days a week for six months I knew (felt) that it wasn’t. I honestly did not know that I could pull it off, but even if I could have done so with a lot of stress and effort, I really didn’t want to. It didn’t feel right at all. I am not right for that anymore. I think reiki has made me too sensitive and my current line of work has made me too reasonable.
And my intuition started ringing all kinds of alarm bells. Like loud, making-your-ears-bleed kind of alarm bells. Originally I still wanted to give it a shot because I’m hardly the quitting-kind, but I just couldn’t. The thought of going through with that made me sick to my stomach. I can’t explain it any other way than that everything inside me rebelled against that very notion. I couldn’t eat, slept terribly, it was on my mind every moment I didn’t distract myself and I just felt so anxious and awful. It has been a long time since I felt that deeply unhappy as I did this weekend. I am usually pretty damn giddy with happiness, but this weekend I was reduced to a stressed miserable little heap of human.
And as I continued to feel terrible, and grew more sure and sure that this was not the right thing for me, I did quit. I broke the news on Sunday to the people who needed to know — lucky for me, they were very sympathetic about it. Tuesday I only went back as a favor to finish up some work, and after that I was done. Cue major relief. I wish it had been different, but I’m a 100% sure that it was the right decision. The entire time. My gut could not have made that anymore clear that this was not where I was supposed to be. In fact, it was so bad that whenever I was lost in thought or distracted, I would literally say ‘no’ or ‘I don’t want to do this’ out loud. I caught myself doing that a couple of times this weekend. How freaky is that?
It sucked, sure. But possibly, it was a really strong anti-response to me getting off track, just to make sure I will stay on track. And now more than ever, I intend to. After feeling so horrible, I am so happy and grateful for how my life looks. My job as well as all the other fun and amazing things I get to do, and now I’m all the more motivated to keep it that way.
Also, it’s not all bad. I got a kick ass opportunity at the university I work at, and now I can spend my undivided attention on. Both skill and intuition tells me I can pull that off. Oh look, the arrogance is already showing. Guess I’m bouncing back already.
The lesson in all this? Always walk your own path, and always trust your gut. Even -or especially- when it tells you to retreat. Even when it’s messy and uncomfortable. Even when it doesn’t lead you to a glorious and victorious ending.
Happy New Year everyone! As all the 2012 Review Blogs started appearing, I tried writing one of my own and failed: I honestly could not be bothered. I decided to just skip it and instead spent a lot of time with Manfriend this weekend, before shooting myself straight into 2013.
Besides can totes sum up my life in 2012 in three sentences: I moved in with Manfriend. I started this website. It was great.
I love my life, even with its occasional WTF and FML moments. Honestly, my life consists of all the things I love most in this world: Writing, teaching, doing yoga, energy, enjoying the company of my family and friends, and always growing and leaning. I play around with my life and the Universe and you know what, dear readers? I am content.
And I love the magic of January 1st, the possibilities of the New Year so fresh. Oh, the things you could do this year. Oh, the things I could do this year! I am using the New Year Magic to my advantage for the upcoming blogposts, so stay tuned.
For now, just enjoy the first day of this brand-spanking new year and dear reader, whoever you are, wherever you are, I hope 2013 is going to be even more amazing than you could dream of now. Kisses.
Watch out, I’m totally going to have an opinion about this.
This is about Francis Kenter, the Raw Food Mom, and the tv documentaries about her and her son Tom. In the documentaries, you see their raw food lifestyle and the battle with child protective services that ensued after the media got a hold of this ‘Crazy Person’ and her taking him out of school. Not going to mention it again, but I think homeschooling is a bad idea. Enough on that.
Before joining the masses who all have loud and obnoxious opinions, I watched interviews with Francis, the first documentary ‘Rauw‘ and finally the second documentary ‘Rauwer‘. I also watched de Planteneter‘s review of the whole thing, which is especially excellent and if you want to listen to someone normal who talks in a reasonable, constructive way about this whole thing, I recommend you watch his review.
I am not overestimating the importance of my opinion. I am just trying to construct it.
Let me start by telling you I totally have some reservations about Francis. I would never dispute the love she has for her son: It’s clear to me that she wants him to be the healthiest he can possibly be. She thinks raw food is the way. She’s not entirely wrong in that.
She does her research when it comes to food and health, and preaches there is lots of good stuff in the raw food lifestyle. So far, so good. I love raw food and know the benefits of a (high percentage) raw food diet, so I’m inclined to be on board for a large part of it.
However, I don’t like extremists, and I don’t think Google qualifies as a degree. She finds a lot of her material on-line and that’s great, but Google finds what you want it to find. A raw foodist will find 46 articles why cooked food is bad. A meat eater will find 46 articles why you should have meat every once in a while. You know what I mean.
Me personally, I am totally allergic to her method: The radical black-or-white approach, her way is the only way, harshly reprimanding other people about what they are doing. Blegh.
See, I dislike vegans who tell meat eaters they have no heart: It makes me want to have a cheeseburger. I dislike Christians who tell me I am going to hell: It makes me want to curse, steal a Bible and have some sex before marriage. I dislike raw foodists who claim their way is the only way and that every cooked food is going to give me cancer.
And the funny thing is, I am totally on board with raw food, alkalinity/acidity, all that jazz! I just don’t want you to fucking start with me on how I should be living my life. So when Francis starts telling everyone and their mother how horrible cooked food is, how sugar is the devil and how meat and dairy gives us cancer, I think a) it’s not that simple and b) I want a cupcake, a steak, a cigarette and a deadline (stress is also a big factor in getting sick).
I started to get a little worried when I saw the way she talks to Tom about food. It creeped me out. She also lost major points for me when she started comparing cooked foods (meat and dairy) with cigarettes and heroine; if we were in a debate, she would have lost based on faulty reasoning. Giving a child some organic meat or milk is not the same as handing them a needle or a smoke when they’re 14.
That being said about how I feel about Francis and how she does things, the other party is in no way objective or innocent. The first doctor exclaims his growth curve is like a severely malnourished child, and I’m sorry, I think she got a little carried away with making good sound bites for the documentary. That good sound bite has been blown out of proportion by the Child Protective Services and everyone who watched the documentary. He is NOT a malnourished child. I totally acknowledge the possibility that he has a legit growth deficiency in comparison to his peers (but remain doubtful about the nutrient problem), that comparison is insulting. Tom was a happy kid before this whole media mess, and he totally eats.
Let’s not forget people, Tom does like raw food. Planteneter hypothesizes he should maybe eat more, and that could be the case: I really wouldn’t know. I know his diet may be mainly raw and maybe not versatile enough, but he likes to eat and he admits in the documentary that he sometimes eats cooked food now.
Francis, although in my opinion too rigid in this area, is objectively giving him a choice. Tom just doesn’t really know what he wants. Isn’t that understandable? All these conflicting things he hears are throwing him for a loop. His mom and raw foodists all over the world want him to be a beacon for raw food and how good it is for you. Child Protective Services and an entire fucking nation want him to rebel against his mother. Which will ultimately mean he’d be taken away from her and put in foster care. Jeez, talk about pressure.
It seems to me he’s just going through the motions of this whole circus he has been gotten into and from the latest news I gather he feels really horrible about the whole thing. Poor kid.
My main conclusion is that I don’t dig Francis’ method and that yes, Tom might need more freedom in his diet. Flexibility and experimenting for the win.
But the way everyone has taken a run with it is crazy. More importantly, I think that all this media coverage and the things that are being said about his mom is probably worse for him than all the green stuff she is making him eat.
And come on people. Let’s not forget that while the entire Dutch society is making a big deal out of this, there are thousands of kids who are overweight and underfed at the same time, with Red Bull for breakfast and microwaved pizza for lunch. But that issue is probably a little too mainstream.