Jun 032013
 

So. I was thinking about motivation. More specifically how we start doing things. To be even more specific, I started thinking about that one moment where it happens: We actually start.

We start to do something new. A new routine emerges. We finally do that thing we’ve been putting off for a while. We get up from the couch and get into action. We stop procrastinating.

What happens in that moment? What is that defining thing that creates the momentum? I think it’s in that thing where the real shift happens. In that moment, that magic happens; in that moment change begins, new habits start, new roads are taken.

I don’t know exactly what happens in that exact moment, except that it is definitely that happens on the inside, because of something on the inside. 

I don’t know about you guys, but my friend can tell me how awesome running is and orate for hours about the benefits – it doesn’t make me run for jack. Yet, when I remember the article I once read about running being about as effective as antidepressants, I will put on my running shoes and lap a few miles.

I can read a million recipes for chia pudding, a type of salad or a juice, mentally acknowledge that it sounds nice and never think of it again. And one morning I am in the mood for something healthy and I fall in love with cherry-chia pudding, balsamico-strawberry salad or cilantro-juice, all by myself.

My father can tell me to look in a certain direction for my career: I will listen, nod politely and not really do anything with the information. Until suddenly I am overcome with a sense of purpose and frantically start writing letters of application because I want to work more, and in that specific field.

People can tell me I should go to yoga, but I will ignore their encouragement. Until I feel it click. Suddenly I feel it, it’s happening on the inside. And on a surge of that, I go to yoga. People can tell me to start writing again, but I will not do it. Then one morning it will break out of me and I am writing until my fingers are blue with ink*.

Nothing happens for me, not until I feel something click, not until some inner spark lights a fire on the inside. My behavior doesn’t change until I feel it resonate with something within.

With that in mind, I took a look around and realized that almost always we look for motivation outside of ourselves. We look for the people we admire, the things other people are doing, books and articles on how to motivate yourself — You might even be here on my website, looking for it.

And it can motivate you, definitely – but only because it sparked the fire that was already ready to ignite within you, only because it adds to the final weight that pulls the lever down. And I started thinking, that you could make that thing click or that fire happen, easier, more often, all by yourself.

  •  Really get in touch with yourself.** We have so much impulses coming in that it can be hard to figure out whatever the hell is happening on your inside anyway. While what’s on the inside is actually the most interesting part! What can help is turning down all the information coming from the outside; spending more time alone and off the Internet. You can also just turn up the volume of your inner impulses by stream-of-consciousness writing, or just paying more attention to yourself while you are going about your day.
  • Literally think “what do I want?” more. We are all a bunch of people-pleasers and we tend to think of other people first. While it’s perfectly healthy and normal to reason from YOUR own perspective! Once you attune yourself to that you become used to thinking in terms of what you want instead of what (you think) is expected of you or what you think you should want. Certain themes and impulses will come up more often or more forcefully, and when you start acting upon those and it feels good, “right” for you in a way, this can start doing the trick without any outer stimulants!
  • On that note, ask yourself more questions like that! What would I like? What do I need? In life, in love, in business, in friends, in food, in exercise? What is good for me? Not because you see it’s good for someone else, but what is good for you specifically? You are the expert on yourself. Start asking yourself all the expert questions.
  • Trust yourself. Turn on the inner GPS more often/all the time; if you give yourself a little more wiggle room, you’ll learn to wiggle in the right direction***. We have the tendency to think of ourselves as unmotivated while in fact, everything we do when we are motivated is just as much who we are as the lazier parts. If you stop forcing yourself into things you ‘have to do’, you might find yourself naturally levitating towards the things you ‘want to do’.

Honestly, a little more faith in your inner workings and yourself as a person might very well be the way to find lasting and honest intrinsic motivation. Especially if you add a little silence and respect to the soul to the mix.

You might be clicking or burning away on all the right things, just because of those.

Thumbs up & Namaste, babies. Have a lovely week.

*YAY for being left-handed. 

**Not in the dirty way. On the other hand…if you think it will help I am not going to stop you. Go nuts. 

***I LOVE the word ‘wiggle’. 

Nov 262012
 

Look. If it were up to me, I’d skip any temperature below 20 degrees and just live my life in shorts and tanktops. But despite my obnoxious Universe Does Everything What I Say attitude, I haven’t figured out how to control the weather yet. Until I can put that on my resume under Impressive Skills, I am just going to have to deal with seasons, the appropriate outfits that go with them and the activities suited for them.

And I gotta say, it’s not all bad. Fall and winter started growing on me. I like fall and winter outfits. Lots of layers, long-sleeve dresses, snuggly sweaters. Big cardigans, Uggs and high heeled boots, and scarfs (I love scarfs!) Red lipstick and dark colors. Christmas party dresses.

I also started to like fall and winter activities. Forest walks with Lin. Coffee-to-go orders the size of my head. Disney movies under blankets. Getting drunk at my work’s Christmas lunch (and pretending really hard that I am not) and ending up in my best friend’s bed eating chocolates. Good stuff.

I decided to compile a little list to remind myself of the lovely things I can do this fall and winter. Now, onto the Autumnified and Winter-minded Ideas and Activities:

  • Go for a walk in the forest nearby. Will either bring boyfriend, friend or a dog I’ll steal. Then tea at home, big socks on.
  • Bake a big pumpkin pie. And apple pie. And blue berry pie. Do a lot of baking, basically. It’s nice and warm in the kitchen and nothing says comfort than home made treats.
  • Have lunch with my mom at Lof Der Zoetheid. I’ve been dying to show her that place for months.
  • Recreating the perfect hot chocolate I had on a date at Cafe Demetres in London, Ontario. Gorgeous, rich, delicious. Or wait. I think that was the guy. The only way I could differ between my date and the hot chocolate were the little marshmallows on top of the latter.
  • Spend an entire day in bed watching the first season of Once Upon A time, because it is amazing. Bonus points if I can get Manfred to watch with me. Or at least nap while I watch.
  • Buy two big ass chunky sweaters to wear on cold days. And maybe a new scarf.
  • Spend an afternoon in the department store looking at all the cool kitchen stuff. Then go stare at dresses, gorgeous make-up and buy a cupcake*.
  • Get shit faced on champagne with my BFF.
  • Go out for a run when there is frost on the ground and trees. It may be cold but it’s always so pretty.
  • Invite my high school friends over for a long, leisurely dinner and drink cocktails after.
  • Take Manfred out for a great Italian dinner, go see a movie, and then cycle home while holding gloved hands.
  • Get a few goofy little holiday gifts for people that I love.
  • I love love love hooping but I don’t do it in this weather. So I’m going to wear warm but tight clothes, put on gloves and a beanie and take out my hoop for some much missed hooping in the park.
  • Go over to my parents’ place, have a really really really long bath while reading self help books and slathering myself in Ritual products.

The lack of Christmas enthusiasm might be noticeable;  I love having dinner with my family ; the food and spending quality time with my loved ones, but other than that, not very Christmas minded. I am not a big fan of the songs or the trees or the crazy. Don’t be alarmed, recent studies have shown that I do have a soul.

Do you have any good Fall/Winter suggestions for me too? I’m already getting into it by lunching with Lin. Enjoy your Monday, cupcakes.

*…and maybe call Manfred to complain he isn’t rich enough yet. 

Oct 222012
 

“When you realise most of your life will be consumed by normal days rather the extraordinary ones, you feel motivated to raise the overall quality of these normal days” – Steve Pavlina. 

Maybe it’s just my life that’s very normal, but my regular days are: regular.  I work, I work-out, I go do groceries, I have dinner and I go to bed. Hopefully I saw someone I like in between. No amazing accomplishments every day, I don’t go to magical places every day (unless my kitchen counts, which in my opinion it does) nor do I have a special event or something every day.

I love my regular days, though. I love being at work, in my house, eating dinner with Manfred in front of Australian Master Chef (LOVE IT) and going to sleep in our damned-mosquite ridden bedroom. And I believe you can make the regular days exactly the reason why your life is so beautiful and special. And here’s how you do it.

  • Try to do something new or different somewhere during the day

A small but big way to make every day unique is by adding an original experience or by giving a routine a different twist or flavor. It can be a big one, like doing something (scary) for the first time, trying an interesting sports-class or dance lesson, but it’s also perfectly fine to keep it small: Try a new recipe, take a different route home, sit with someone else at lunch, buy flowers on your way home, go for a walk somewhere.

You can also change it up by doing something extra or different to your routines. Shower at night instead of in the morning. Put on different music while cooking or studying. Read a book your boyfriend likes and you have yet to understand why. Add a series of jumping jacks or push ups to your exercise routine, or maybe a Beyonce Dancebreak.

Basically add or change something in your usual stuff to make your day more memorable. A great way to shake things up and sometimes you find stuff you really like!
  • Indulge a little (or a lot)
I am a big believer in spoiling one’s self – not in a crazy dysfunctional bankrupt type of way, but in a cute healthy self loving type of way. By treating yourself on regular days too, in whatever tiny way, you make your day more special. You continuously add to your self love evidence, resulting in more self love and self-esteem which leads to a happier, more radiant you. Bonus points there, right?

So treat yourself! A facial mask, a dessert, a yoga class, some organic vegetables, a coffee or tea to go, a 30-minute power nap, a glass of wine. An early night in or a late night out. A cute cupcake or a wheatgrass shot. Some alone time or some cuddling. Include a hey-I-love-you-gesture to yourself in every day.
  • Spend time with your favorite people
P.I.A.B. People = Puppy In A Blanket People. People who make me feel like I’m a little puppy in a blanket: all warm, protected and cute and cuddly. It’s good to be around your loved ones. I find few things more amazing and gratifying than being around my oldest friends, my new friends and my wonderful family.

So visit your best friend, your mom, your favorite co-worker, an old buddy from the gym or invite your cousins over for dinner. Take a walk with your significant other. However ordinary the day might have been, by hanging out with them you make memories that you can always keep and that adds something wonderful to your normal life, doesn’t it?
  • Spend time with yourself
I know a lot of people recognize this: I need at least some form of genuine alone-time in order to function properly. If not, I become…unpleasant. To say the least.

But it’s not just for functioning, it’s also for optimal functioning: By spending time with yourself you become more at ease with being on your own, which is good, and get to know the important stuff about you! Alone time is often when you truly figure out your real goals, your desires, what you want to do, how you really feel and that will help you guide yourself into the direction you want to go in!

Also, the time you spend with yourself you can devote to truly take care of yourself. See Self-Love. Figure out what amount of me-time is adequate and what you should add to make your days a significant amount more amazing. And then add that.
  • Work on something extraordinary every day

Whether it’s the baby room, your novel, your dissertation, your drawings, your paintings, your website, your meditation practice, your starting business, your music, your wardrobe, whatever: Devote some time to that thing in your life you love more than anything else.

Work on that thing that you regard as extraordinary and most important, work on that something you would like to finish before you leave this earth. As little as five to ten minutes, whatever you have to spare: This way your normal days are infused with value and importance.

Normal days are nothing to sneeze at. Everything might be regular and ordinary, but you’ll be bringing that little ‘Extra-’ that will make everything special. Have a wonderful Monday, everyone.

Aug 032012
 

While completely failing to stay off the Internet (but with a sort-of legitimate reason because I wanted to write a few more articles for when I’m away from my website), I stumbled upon Gala Darling’s fanfuckingtastical list of 50 Things To Do Before Summer ends. It’s awesome, go read it.

My personal Top 10 from this list are the following:

  • Wear something totally inappropriate & go dancing
  • Lie in bed in the morning, with the windows open & good music playing loudly
  • Take an outdoor yoga class
  • Buy a hula-hoop & start using it! 
  • Have a slumber party with a friend & go out for breakfast in the morning
  • Get a massage which makes you feel as if your body’s melting
  • Buy a fabulous sun-hat
  • Spend some quality alone time in saucy underwear
  • Carry a tiny water-gun in your purse (doesn’t this sound like the best idea EVER?!)
  • Lie around in the grass with your sunglasses & a pair of headphones on

And my personal additions to this list would have to be…

  • Go to the best icecream parlor in town and buy an extravagantly large icecream, with whipped cream on top.
  • Go to the park with hooping buddy & BFF Lin and some good music and practice, practice, practice!
  • Put open all the windows in my house, play some Rolling Stones and make breakfast for the boyfriend
  • Hang out with friends in the park
  • Spend a day with my cousins and have water balloon fights
  • Run for an hour in the morning — and then do nothing for the rest of day.
  • Have a picnic on our balcony
  • Go to another festival (timetable-wise virtually impossible, but who knows when time travel starts happening)

What do you still want to do this summer? Please tell me, I’d love some more good suggestions to incorporate in my own final month of summer!

Apr 092012
 

It’s nice to have all these theories about improving your life, non? But how about filling out some paperwork? ;) And believe me, it’s not at all boring, difficult or tiring; it’s actually really fun, inspiring and invigorating! Whether it’s Law of Attraction, Radical Self Love, Gratitude, Manifesting, anything else: why not put your pen on paper after reading all about it? How about doing some fun worksheets?

All my favorite worksheets come from Jessica Mullen. Jessica is a professional lifestreamer: someone who manifests her life completely according to her mindset. I love her ideas and tricks, and my favorite thing about her website are the worksheets. They are absolutely brilliant. With them, you put what you know to such perfect practical use you get surged right into the right mindset and manifesting. I love doing them, they’re one of my favorite fun ways to work with all the magic of the Law of Attraction and all that. Here are my favorites.

60 Things I Love About …: On this worksheet you write down 60 reasons you love something. The best thing (and people don’t realize this nearly enough) is you can do this about anything. Not just about people, but about places, events. Your mother, but also your great fitness studio, the language you’re learning, the new job you want or have, anything! And the more you find to love about a thing, the better! I’ve done this one about my best friend, who keeps it in her planner wherever she goes. I’ve also done this about the apartment that I loved, where I now live. The more love you feel, about whatever you can, the more your life will benefit, and with this worksheet, you will definitely feel the love.

Daily Self Love: An all-round fun worksheet to do every day to stay in tune with self-love, gratitude and working towards what you want. It reminds you of the things you love about your life, about you, the things you want to treat yourself to. It’s such a good thing to do if you want to get a stronger, more positive outlook on life.

Financial Abundance:  This is a very special one in my opinion, because it focuses solely on the positive and fun aspects of attracting financial wealth, prosperity and abundance. I think this is so great because manifesting money can be incredibly difficult because of all our fixed (and often screwed up) beliefs we have about money, rich people and how we are supposed to make our money. By making yourself feel abundant through this worksheet, you’re working through all of that and coming closer to creating that prosperity in your life.

Now/Daily/Weekly/Monthly: Jessica made this one as a reminder to herself of the things she loves to do, things that make her feel good.By turning it into little lists like this they become ‘Scavenger Hunts’: once you’ve done a few, you kind of want to collect them all. I really like this one too, it’s very simplistic but strong.

Gathering Momentum: This one is probably my favorite. It integrates so many things of a positive lifestyle where gratitude, manifesting and intuition play a big role. During the summer I did these sheets probably every other day and they made me so focused and happy. Definitely a top recommendation.

If you click here, you will be directed to her website with the worksheet tag: you can download the worksheets, read her theories and articles about them. There are a few other sheets, such as an Universal Grocery List (sound familiar?) and a Solution To Your Problem Thing, so go browse and feel free to tell her I sent you. I hope you love her worksheets as much as I do!

Apr 052012
 

I’m just going to leave this here…Maybe it will be taken to heart. 

When I think about imitation and inspiration I think about two kids in the playground. Meet Jim and Peter. They’ll be our example of the day.

Imitation

Jim is playing happily with a car toy.  Peter sees this. Peter immediately grabs a car toy, sits down right next to Jim and while looking at Jim the entire time, he ‘starts playing’: If Jim goes to the left with the little Mercedes, Peter goes to the left with his little Ferrari. If Jim makes a U-turn, Peter makes a U-turn. If Jim makes a looping in the air, Peter makes a looping in the air. If Jim is sick of the car toy and throws it away, Peter is sick of the car toy and throws it away too.

Inspiration. 

Jim is playing with a car toy. Peter sees this. Peter might even look for a little while longer. Then, Peter starts looking around for a car toy, finds one he likes, sits down somewhere and starts playing. Who knows? He might just make ‘vroom vroom’ noises and skate around a little on the concrete. Or he might go and follow an ‘Extreme Racing Track’ (read: the sandbox). If Peter and Jim are buddies he might even challenge Jim to a race. Or maybe Peter is going to scootch towards Jim and they’ll act out the Fast&the Furious together – they might have parents who don’t look at the Parental Advise Guidelines, guys. You never know.  

See my point? And do you see the difference? It’s the same with us. It’s fine to see something in somebody else’s life style, motto, ways or wardrobe that you like, and make it your own. What’s not fine, and what’s actually not constructive in any way is just taking on parts of other people in the hope it will make you look cooler or help your life in any way.

Because even when you get the idea from somebody else, it has to be something that comes from you still. Therefore the moment you do something identical to somebody else’s, that’s just pretending. I can smell the pretense from miles away and so can anybody else.

I actually have role models for a few different areas in life. I have one particular yoga teacher that motivates me whenever I see her practice. Sabine from some-like-it-raw is my inspiration when it comes to healthy food. Gala Darling is my beautiful positive self-love warrior blogger whose posts always make me excited for life and puppies and pretty things. My best friend Lin inspires me to not look like a homeless person with her chic outfits and pretty lipsticks.

But have I ordered everything from BFF’s wardrobe? Am I now walking around in blouses and high heeled ankle boots? No. I just did a kick-ass wardrobe update with the help of ASOS and started wearing mascara again. She just makes me realize I don’t want to be a slob.

Did I change my blog to pink, dyed my hair and changed my ‘bye’-signature to ‘Superlove & Leopard Print XO Gala’ ? No — even though that last bit is awesome. All I do is trying to live more positively and go after my dreams, corny as it sounds. She inspires me to make my life an amazing adventure, even if it’s nothing like hers.

Have I copied everything from Sabine’s diet and lifestyle and do I slavely make every menu option she writes about? No. However, I did take an interest in juicing, raw food and superfoods that I implement in my daily routines every single day. My way. Nobody else’s.

Have I taken it upon myself to start imitating my yoga teacher’s killer advanced poses after class? Um, hell to the backbreaker no. But I listen to her intently when she teaches and gives me instructions, and whenever I’ve seen her I can’t wait for my next class.

That these people inspire me does not mean I have to imitate them. That’s not inspiration. I take the things that I love about them, look at my life and think about how their ideas and influences can have a positive effect on my life. Then I put some work into it and soon enough it’s part of me. In an original, pure sense.

Don’t waste your time copying other people. When you’re Peter on the playground, just get your little car toy and make it a motherfucker Transformer.