Major Monday Make-Up Post!

 5 Ways To, General Self Help, Health, Law of Attraction  20 Responses »
Jan 282013
 

Well guys…I am finally out of my funk! I’d go into my whole inner emotional turmoil, but actually I really don’t want to so I’m skipping that therapy-moment for now.

Luckily, after giving my Law of Attraction workshop Saturday, I felt like my normal self again. Finally. I am still absolutely glowing from the company and positivity vibe those workshops give me, and it made my entire being do a happy 180. Thanks, ladies. I am back in touch with all my inner weirdness, excitement and that positivity you have all come to know and love (or get annoyed over, who knows what you do behind your computer).

Good news: I am writing again! About damn time too, because writer’s block was making my head explode. Now I have about 6 outlines for cool new articles. The bad news is that I write in my notebook and I have had zero time this weekend to turn my Paperblank scribbles into the long-winded elaborate articles you have all come to know and read maybe halfway through before you go back to cats and fandoms on the Internet.

But I felt weird leaving my blog and readers alone for over a week and I wanted to make my ‘prolonged’ absence up to you. A few days is fine, because I am totally that rebel writer who doesn’t get tied down easily distracted and preoccupied, but I don’t want to be more unreliable than that. Plus, I miss you guys in terms of comments and happy people reading my stuff.

So I decided to post some tips I shared before in my Self Help School Projects. Basically five tips in the three areas I talk about the most that you might like to use someitme (and let me know if you do!) Have a kick ass Monday!

General Self Help

  • Wake up 15 minutes earlier tomorrow. Dedicate these 15 minutes to something ‘You’. Be it meditating, an extra beauty routine like straightening your hair or smokey eyes, a quick at-home workout or just a more relaxed breakfast with your favorite book. Do something early in the day that says “I’m Committed To Taking Care Of Myself”.
  • Write down the answer to the question of “What am I bored of?!” (Idea stolen from Alex Franzen). Whether it’s the same pasta you end up having three nights a week, that one friend that only talks about old friends, Facebook, your weak arms, etc: figure out what bores you or makes you roll your eyes. Now that you know, you can move from boring to brilliant. Simply by going in the opposite direction! More variety in dinner, spending time with friends who talk about worldly events, logging off Facebook and doing those damn push-ups.
  • Think of someone you admire and do the one thing that you think rocks. For instance, Angelina Jolie takes a much-needed break in her busy schedule specifically for Brad Pitt (wouldn’t we all like to be able to do that) and you can make some Boyfriend Time in your schedule as well. Other examples would be eating more vegan (like Merel from the Groene Meisjes), being more forgiving (Dalai Llama) or not afraid to be yourself (Self help God Steve Pavlina).
  • Make the BLUH-List. The BLUH list is the list of things you have been putting off forever. Items on my list include figuring out how to work with SEO, contacting BOL.COM about their plug-in, changing my Rabobank personal information to the correct address and figuring out my perfect health care plan. Make your list. Once you have the list, do one thing immediately to make the list shorter. Call to cancel your useless gym membership (and take up another sport) or Elle subscription, go to the drycleaners and finally return your friend’s book to her.
  • Write down what personality traits you attribute to yourself that you’re bothered by. Pick one or two and try to think of yourself completely different in that aspect. You’re no longer Control Freak Carla, you’re Laidback Lucy. You’re not Anxious Annie, you’re Peaceful Patty. Get my drift? Erase from your memory the personality trait you don’t appreciate as much as the rest, and when something happens that would normally activate that part of you, try to react from the complete opposite. See how it feels. Usually something in the middle ends up feeling most comfortable, but it’s a good exercise.

Health

  • Do your own research about food. Find out what you want to know (or really don’t want to know) about what you eat. Find books, scientific articles about certain dietary lifestyles. Look up the dity dozen and the clean fifteen, explore foods with high protein content, the superfood with the most antioxidants or vitamins. Knowledge is power and it will guide your choices. If things are contradictory, find which side has most evidence, research which of the evidence is most convincing or: Simply trust your gut.
  • If you have the time and resources, eat organic/raw/vegan/vegaterian for one day. Just for one day, to see how you like it! Document everything, like you’re doing an experiment. How much you spend, how much effort you have to make to prepare it and how it makes you feel. It’s a very good way to assess: It takes away the possibly unrealistic hurdles about rep time or costs, and adds the experience of possible advantages or disadvantages.
  • Having breakfast-dessert. It’s a sweet treat/dessert type food you have after breakfast instead of after dinner. Makes absolute sense as you still have the entire day to digest it while it may sit in your stomach uncomfortable if you have that tiramisu too late. Worth a shot, I have actually tried this before: It is fun and feels a tiny bit naughty, which makes it even better!
  • This is an interesting twist on exercising, also from Alex Franzen: Modeling a work-out to one of your idols or heroes! Think a Wonderwoman work-out, running like you’re a professional athlete (without killing yourself mind you) and G.I. Jane push-ups. I am personally going to channel an inner superyogi that I have always admired. I’m also not above channeling my inner Black Widow, Catwoman or that one where Jessica Alba is a cowgirl stripper.
  • This is a little different than the others, but I seriously believe a little hiatus from fashion magazines and staring at pretty models on the Victoria Secret website can sometimes be a very healthy much-needed break for your self-esteem and realistic body appreciation and awareness. If you haven’t done this before, start now.

Law of Attraction

  • Make a Universal wish list for someone you love. Your partner, your BFF, an (estranged) family member you wish the best, a parent or sibling. Imagine all they ever wanted realized in their lives. I believe it is good to practice positive intentions for other people as well.
  • If you have something in mind that you really want to manifest, grab a notepad and pen, close your eyes and ask yourself: What can I do to make this (come into my) reality? Write down each and every thought that comes up. This is a way to crank up your Inspired Action. The Universe digs that.
  • Wake up and decide you’re going to feel like the luckiest person alive today. The luckier you feel, the luckier you’ll be.
  • You need to feel quite deely and passionate about this one but it can work miracles if you do: Choose a situation or area in your life you are deeply discontented with and send a big Universal Request for something to change or be resolved. Do it in the same way you normally ask for other things. Depending how willing you are to let go of the situation (sometimes we hang onto horrible things because they are familiar and comfortable), things usually change rather quickly.
  • Think to yourself “With what great positive action can I positively impact myself and everything around me, right now?” This can range from cleaning your apartment to donating to charity to striking up small talk with a lonely-looking elderly woman to taking your friend to yoga. Anything goes, as long as you do something good.

5 Fun Feel Good Monday Tips!

 5 Ways To, Making Things Easier, positivity  8 Responses »
Jan 212013
 

1. Make a ‘Me’ Word Cloud. Sometimes it’s real easy to lose track of what you’re made of and what’s important to you, like when you’re stressed or freaked out or really busy. A fun and simple way to get back to that is by making a visual representation of words that mean a lot to you: Words that remind you of your life and the things you love in it. Bring the amazingness back in it by making the word-cloud.

2. Channel who you want to be. This is something important I was reminded of by Desi a little while ago. I really like her blog, she’s currently running a series on better eating that is worth checking out. Something really powerful she wrote was this, about being who you want to be and truly challenging that throughout the day. I decided I don’t want to think of it as pretending, but as channeling. After all, it’s not really pretending; that desire for wanting to be this is already inside you too. So: Channel what you want to be today. The confidence, the body, the guts, the brains, the whole package of who you want to be. It will feel good, and it will do you good!

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3. A new Jessica Mullen worksheet! I don’t do Christmas presents but when she put this one up on Christmas morning, I did feel like a kid on Christmas morning! It is really really good: Unique and fun like all her worksheets and all inclusive. Very nice to do!

4. 10 Things List. This might seem like a no-brainer, but sometimes we forget the things we need to do to function at our optimal level, to be in the best flow. By writing them down and making sure you do at least a couple of them per day, you ensure you stay feeling and doing your best. These are mine, for example, and I incorporate them n my life as much as I can!

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5. 20-ways trick. “A simple yet powerful idea I learned from Earl Nightingale is to grab a blank piece of paper (or a blank computer screen) and brainstorm a list of 20 ways to improve. You can write down anything — ways to increase your income, improve your health, better your relationships, etc. The focus is on generating ideas to make your life better.” – Steve Pavlina.  I love this, and this technique forces you to go beyond your usual ideas into a more creative out-of-the-box place. Give it a try, see where it takes you!

Have a happy Monday you guys, and let me know if you have some tips for me!

5 Tips For Flirting (& Being Socially Awesome.)

 5 Ways To, How to, Love, Relationships  16 Responses »
May 032012
 

After my Law of Attraction & Lovers article, maybe you feel all inspired and ready, but you need a little boost in handy social tricks. Well: I provide, baby. I provide.

1. Be approachable. If you have Chronic Bitch Face nobody dares to come near you. If you don’t look anyone in the eye, you’re not very inviting Small Talk&Flirt Material. If you always sit in a corner with your arms crossed and averted from the crowd, very few people will be brave enough to come near you.It’s very natural to ‘close’ yourself (looking away, arms crossed, bitch face) when you’re shy, an introvert or just find yourself in an uncomfortable or unfamiliar situation, but it’s very rewarding to fight the urge!

When I first entered the tattoo shop, I felt so awkward I wanted to melt in a little pool of Untattooed Nerd. It was very crowded, all these heavily inked people with other body modifications and nobody would talk to me. I fought my absolute hardest to keep from fleeing crossing my arms, kept a smile on my face and looked around like it was no big deal I was all by myself in there while nobody would talk to me. After five minutes of feeling like a huge dork, I finally caught the attention of someone who worked there who approached me. If I hadn’t kept my open body language, I’d still be standing there, feeling awkward and pretending to admire the cool wall paper.

So make sure you have an open enough composure that people won’t be terrified of talking to you. Maintain a friendly, open face, look people in the eye and for fuck’s sake don’t cross your arms. It’s like a big neon ‘Keep Out’ Sign over your head. Oh and keep the difference in mind between being approachable and being creepy.

2. Smile. It’s not creepy, it’s not an instant marriage proposal, it’s not sad or desperate. A smile is just a smile. It’s nice, it’s friendly and if the other person wants to, he can smile back and/or say ‘hi’ and/or strike up a conversation. I smile to (almost) everyone. If they want to think I’m crazy because of that, fine. If it makes them smile back and talk to me, even better!

3. Be genuinely interested in people. I don’t know if you noticed before, but people are super fascinating. At least to me they are. I know very little boring people and I can always find something interesting about them. What’s more, people love to know that they’re fascinating. This means the chances of someone being offended if you ask them a question are actually quite slim, especially if you’ve noticed something out of the ordinary about them. You can ask all sorts of (not too impolite) questions about themselves that you may genuinely want to know the answer to! That starts a conversation.

Be interested in the person in front of you. Not because you want to get into their pants, not because you believe they’re your Mr Perfect, not because you believe that they are your Salvation For Loneliness or anything like that, but talk to them because you’re interested in them.

4. Go new places. A great way to increase your chances of meeting new people, practicing your open body language, training social skills and getting your flirt on is to go new places. Maybe out of town for a weekend, a language course at the university you go to, but this can also be just the bar next to your usual bar. Mix things up. Go out of your comfort zone into interesting new bars, buildings, towns and countries. Who knows who you’ll meet?!

5. Wear a conversation starter (or spot them!). This is a little different from the ones above…but whenever I wear my Angel Wing ring, my big-ass sneakers or a crazetastic Adidas legging, people strike up conversation about them. I had the same with a few old shirts (David&Goliath, remember those? Bless!) and an old boyfriend jeans. Something that stands out, that people may like, gives them a reason/excuse to talk to you!

Similarly, when I see someone with a kick-ass Brigitte Bardot T-shirt, customized Nikes, a Star Wars Hoodie or a gorgeous necklace, I always compliment or comment, which results in a pleasant conversation nine times out of ten!

So basically you can go two ways with this. Be the Wearer or be the one to comment on the Wearer. Either way, it opens a conversation window and who knows what possibilities may flow from that…!

And there you have it. Now go outside and get your flirt on. And if you’re happily married and don’t want to flirt, go out and make a couple of new friends. Never stop expanding your world and social circles: there are too many wonderful people out there!

Go with Gut: Intuition Training

 5 Ways To, How to, Intuition  6 Responses »
Apr 282012
 

“I had a bad feeling about this.” “I just knew it was the right to do”. “I can’t explain why, I just know I should do this.” “I can’t put my finger on it, but something is off.”  ”I knew I shouldn’t have taken this job.” “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him.”

Sound familiar? I’m pretty sure you have said these words at some point in your life. Maybe about a project, a shady new man in your life, about a job. I know you probably have said something along the lines of this. You can live with your head in the clouds (hi!!) or be very down to earth, you can be more rational or more emotional when it comes to decision-making, doesn’t matter. Whether you actively do it or not, your intuition is at play here. Meet your intuition: your Inner GPS to Life. 

How’s that for a catchphrase.? It’s a statement I stand behind completely. I definitely drive through life with my Inner GPS beeping loudly, giving me directions. But I can feel I have to do certain things, when I should say ‘no’ and when I should say ‘yes’, often before I find or realize the rationalizations behind my decision. When I ignore my intuition (which I sometimes do because it makes so much more logical or practical sense), I always regret it.

Once I realized how on-point my intuition always was, I gave it a lot more free reign and listen more closely. I can honestly say that this is one of the smartest moves I’ve ever pulled: listening to my inner voice instead of over-thinking and letting other people rationalize things for me.

I’m not saying I don’t have an error margin (I am a naive HappyGoLucky and I rather trust people than write them off immediately), but all in all it has brought me a lot more good than bad. These days I try to listen more to my intuition than anything else.

Basically your intuition, your instinct, your gut feelings are with you all the time as it is and it’s probably seeping through in your decision making already. How would you it to exercise it a little more? It’s the same as with your biceps, your brain: the more you flex the more better it becomes. In the case of your Inner GPS, it becomes more accurate, more detailed and makes it easier to predict certain outcomes. I thought of a few things you could do to make your gut feelings more prominent. Bring on some Intuition Training.

  • Really ‘feel’ how certain things make you feel. Places, people, future plans, events, even things in your home and foods. Everything. What kind of feeling does your best friend’s new boyfriend evoke in you? Or the idea of traveling abroad when you finish school? Or that house you and your husband want to move into? Feel what kind of inner response comes up.
  • Try it for a day. Make all your decisions based on your gut feeling and your instincts rather than thinking about it. Watch what kind of effect that has and of course, what kind of results this renders long term?
  • Writing Exercise #1. Write down all the things you have had a gut feeling about in the past. The men who broke your heart (or who didn’t!), jobs, plans, people, anything. What did you feel? What made you feel this way? And of course…where you right or wrong in the end?
  • Writing Exercise #2. I did this for a while in 2009-2010. I’d sit down with my note book, be completely still and then write down either a question of a topic. Then I would write down whatever popped into my head. Thoughts that seemed completely random or out of context at that time. It was eery how certain things made sense later on.
  • Ask highly intuitive people how it feels for them when they’re right or wrong. It doesn’t have to be the same for you, but it will give you some extra information that might be useful for some finetuning.

I’m not saying you should throw out any rational thought or that you shouldn’t think things through. By all means, think things through. But I do think it’s good you start basing your decisions also on that feeling you sometimes feel and sometimes ignore. I really believe this will save you a lot of trouble and bring you a lot of good things.

Of course I’m very curious to know: how intuitive are you? And how often are you right/wrong?

10 Ways To Kickstart Your Day Into Awesome.

 5 Ways To, positivity  12 Responses »
Mar 222012
 

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty happy. Spring is here. Tomorrow is the 1,5 year anniversary with my gorgeous and funny manfriend. And there’s all these lovely prospects: I’m looking forward to a fun weekend, exciting month and basically summer is just around the corner. Loves it, as Paris Hilton would say.

Now, I have had a lot of great days in my life, even the ordinary ones. I noticed that there are certain things that when I do them, the day is just automatically great. It’s basically a list of stepping stones into Awesome Days. You ready?

1. Play a soundtrack while you shower, blow dry your hair and put on your lipstick. Somehow, your favorite songs make you feel like your morning ritual is a kick-ass montage of a good movie.

2. Have flower delivered to your mom. She is basically the reason you get to enjoy Awesome Days. Send her flowers. She will love it. (This works for dads too, but maybe you’d be better off to send him beer or a book or something)

3. Eat a breakfast so loaded with nutrients your body is going into Full Health Attack.

4. Plan a wickedly cool date for you and boyfriend/girlfriend for that night. That way you’ll have something to look forward to all day.

5. Wear something crazy. Whether it’s in secret (glitter underwear!) or a superweird T-shirt, a bowtie, or whatever. Put something on that makes you smile when you look in the mirror.

6. Pay a sincere compliment to someone you vaguely or hardly know. Brightens two days at once!

7. Text your best friend a Top 5 of your favorite memories with them.

8. Compile a list of ways to treat yourself and immediately plan one for the upcoming week.

9. Do something creative. Write a poem, sketch a cartoon or learn Beyonce’s Single Ladies dance. What’s good for the brain is usually good for your mood.

10. Learn a funny sentence in a foreign language and repeat it to yourself (and others) throughout the day. One of my current favorites: ‘J’emmène un homme au septieme ciel” 

Never fails to make me grin. Got any tips for me?

5 Ways To…

 5 Ways To, Energy  8 Responses »
Feb 252012
 

Your energy is one of the most valuable things you own. Without it, you’re drowsy, lazy, unmotivated and often cranky. With it, you can make miracles and move mountains, while shaking your booty and looking fabulous.

You can look at energy at a very metaphysical level, especially when you take in account that certain people can either re-energize or drain you. You don’t have to, though! You can also see it as a very basis input-output process: based on the fuel you give yourself, you can expect a certain amount of energy to be used as outcome. Whatever you prefer, here’s five ways to pure, great energy that will have you fizzling and buzzing like fairylights on crack.


Every day, we deal with an endless stream of information. There are rumors this is why there has been such a rapid incline of ADHD diagnoses and Ritalin prescriptions; the constant stimuli pouring into our brain is too much, we’re overstimulated. This means that when there is not enough input, we’re understimulated, which makes us restless and antsy (ADHD symptoms). Whereas I wouldn’t go that far, you can’t deny that we’re used to everything being available to us at all times, we’re doing everything at once and we have the attention span of the average fly.

There’s a reason people meditate: the stillness is good for you. Take some time out of your day to just be still, just sit somewhere and be calm and quiet, this will do wonders. You allow yourself a moment of peace and quiet and taking that time can be extremely beneficial to your energy levels, ability to focus and your mental and emotional health.

I love the smell & taste of coffee in the morning, but I know I have much better days when I don’t drink it. Coffee may amp me up during the day, but it’s a very ‘on edge- type of energy: I jitter, I can’t focus very well and if I’ve really overdone it with 4+ cups I snap at people for so much as turning a page too loudly. Also, I may be amped up during the day, but I completely crash at night and feel tired when I wake up the next morning.


By taking yourself off coffee you allow the natural energy of your body to come back into balance: the biological processes are no longer interrupted by caffeinne, which means you will come back to what your body functions best on: its own, pure energy.

Our food intake has an amazing effect on our energy levels. Sugar creates blood sugar spikes that will wear you down eventually. Most overly processed foods are filled up with crap that would scare the average lab worker, so who knows what that might do to our bodies. 90% of the things that are labeled as ‘the healthy choice’ are quite the opposite of that.


It sounds like a boring rule, but if the food you’re about to eat has grown, it will be good for your energy levels. If it has been made, it’s likely to be less effective for increasing your energy. Plus, there is a whole variety of superfoods you can use to boost your energy in a positive way, both short and long term. There is raw cacao, carob, maca, lucuma, bee pollen, raw honey, coconut oil, chia seeds, hemp seeds. The list goes on and on. It’s worth looking into.

I originally put yoga here, because I have never had more energy than when I vigorously practiced Bikram Yoga: less sleep more focused, feeling vibrant and happy effortlessly, all the time. Nothing gives me more energy than shitloads of Bikram. But I realized that before that, I had a summer in which I was super-energetic: and in that summer I ran 5-9 KM three or four times a week. So the key here isn’t necessarily Bikram Yoga, it’s exercise in general.


Exercise helps your body get in better shape, but it also releases endorphins, speeds up detoxification and clears your mind. So whether it’s running, swimming, yoga, pilates or the most enthusiastic salsa class of your life, it’s exercise that gives you energy. You may feel tired afterwards, but in the bigger picture your energy levels will increase dramatically.
This one gets overlooked a lot, but how you behave in life has to do with your energy too. Scheming, gossiping, manipulating will tire you down, wear you out. It will poison the energy: haven’t we all been sick to our stomach because of something horrible we had done to us or had done ourselves? While when you had done something nice, or was pleasantly surprised by someone else, you felt uplifted and like you could take on the world?


So be positive, pure, clear and honest in what you do: your energy will surely benefit.