Ominous gaze of yours truly into the webcam. This means I’m going to make you do something weird.
One of my favorite crazy self help books is Mastering Your Hidden Self. It’s about Huna, which is a New Age religion/New Age thing. It’s fucking weird, but in a good way. Bear with me as we do something incense-and-hippie-like.
A huge human struggle is getting everything within us on the same side.
Your brain wants to read and solve the New York Times cross word puzzle, but it also wants to mindlessly inhale endless seasons* of your favorite TV show without ever having to think. You want a great body but you also want butter – lots of it. You want to have self-respect and be independent and strong, but you also REALLY want to text that super hot guy who was kind of a dick to you, just in case he might like you standing you up. Three times.
You know what I mean? Sometimes you pull yourself in all these different directions?
One thing that helps is trying to make everything move in the same direction, both on the inside and outside. I found this exercise in my crazy self help book, as imagined by Frederick Eikerenkoetter**.
But I seriously have always liked this idea. Directly communicating with different layers in your being may sound a little crazy at first, but there might be merit in it. By Consciously addressing these various parts of you, you can (re)align yourself a little.
So do this with me. Read it (out loud):
“Thoughts, listen up! I want you to stop being so scattered and to stop wasting your time and energy with fears, worries and old memories that don’t do us any good. From now on I want you to think only good thoughts, and loving thoughts. Think about beautiful things, about our goals and plans, about helping others and improving ourselves. Thoughts, think only good thoughts. If any other come up, look at them, kick them out and go back to the good thoughts.
Feelings, listen up! I want you to stop dwelling fears and anxieties, old hurts and grudges, anger, resentment, guilt, jealousy and any of those things. If any of those come up, go ahead and feel them for a little bit, and then let them fade away and replace them with good feelings. I want you to dwell on good feelings, happy feelings, confident feelings, successful feelings and loving feelings. I want you to have these kinds of feelings all the time, from now on.
Body, listen up! You’re a great body, and you do all kinds of wonderful things like pumping blood and replacing cells that I don’t even have to tell you to do. Bot now I want you to do everything better. I want you to increase our energy, strength and health in all ways, to be more skillful and graceful in all you do, to utilize food and air even more sufficiently than you already do and to stop doing anything that takes away our strength, energy and health. And body, I want you to relax more, feel pleasure more, enjoy life more and give more pleasure to others.
Thank you Thoughts, thank you Feelings, thank you Body, thank you!”
This is the original version, but obviously you can dress it up or down anyway you want it. Kind of like a Barbie, but with less ridiculous measurements.
Maybe you can address your ego, your fears, your heart, your whatever. Rewrite it however you like, whatever suits you and your needs.
Ok, now I’m leaving, because Lin is coming over. Goodbye friends I am gone.
*I don’t even talk in episodes anymore.
**I’m not even going to go there.